Underneath It All
by LoryBr
Summary: Sirius is a playboy, who struggles little and is very popular. Isabelle is a hard working, goody two shoes, who nobody really pays attention to. What could these two possibly have in common? A couple of anonymous letters... or many.
1. Cloudburst

**Chapter One**

* * *

If I had the power to be anywhere right now, that'll be down by the lake where the giant squid lives. Why such a place? Because it's October and everyone knows how the weather is by that time. The leaves of tree's had already changed its bright colors into warm tones; the stars changing its position from their summer days and not to mention the coldness that comes with the month. It was just perfect for me. Sure, summer was great and so was spring but fall happened to be just perfect. Perfect for me to read a book under one of the tree's beside the great lake, perfect to wear a warm sweater without looking too weird. It was just perfect, exactly to my liking.

Unfortunately, I'm sitting in my Transfiguration class being taught by Professor McGonagall. I should be taking notes, since I could see the Professor tapping the tip of her wand against a row of tea cups. But I'm sure Crystal would let me borrow them, after all I've let her borrow half of the notes I had taken in the last five years of our schooling.

I felt a poke on my side which made me casually glance at the dirty-blonde haired girl beside me. Her name is Crystal Lemmon and she is pretty proud to be a Lemmon. I'm not sure exactly why but I tend to be amused by her last name. We met on the very first dinner on our very first year in Hogwarts and since then we became good friends. Of course, like any other friends we had our disagreements and our reconciliation. It was and still is funny how that comes to be; basically we are quite weird.

Without words, Crystal nudge a parchment towards me; an action so familiar I didn't need to second guess about its content. I took the parchment and placed it under my hand which held the quill I should _have_ been using for notes instead I was doodling.

_Daydreaming again, huh? Don't even think of asking for the notes!_

I couldn't help but let out a small grin before I wrote a reply.

_Not necessarily daydreaming; besides shouldn't you be taking notes and not bother writing a question and a non-fact?_

I soon received a reply.

_You know, I'm not going to answer such question! Haha_

_So tell me what exactly are you doing then? Because even if you haven't been jotting down notes; I could still see you writing something. Do share!_

I placed the tip of the quill right under Crystal's writing before I decided to pull out a parchment from underneath the one I was to reply to. It contained the first notes I've been taking since the lecture of Professor McGonagall, but it also contained certain doodling's as well as six rows of written words in the bottom half. I tore off that half and slid it to her.

A minute later and after she took back the paper she had written in, had offered her opinion.

_I always knew you were such a romantic and that proves it! Now tell me, and don't lie, who's it for?_

Normally, I would have made a face for her to see but since Professor McGonagall was still talking I kept neutral. I then looked under the parchment Crystal had written in and read the piece of parchment I had wrote much earlier.

I don't know why but I couldn't help but feel quite embarrassed by such words and much more since I had shown it to Crystal.

"So tell me who this dreamy boy is?" I heard Crystal say in a non-quiet form; which surprised me so since I thought the Professor was still lecturing. And from the look of it, people were obviously getting ready to leave.

"No one" I replied without looking at her as I placed the piece under the ink bottle of mine at the top right corner of my desk.

I heard a slight scoff coming from her as she picked up her book bag. "You can't fool me Isabelle"

"I'm sure you would have known if there was such a boy" I said as I looked straight at her.

She grinned, her aquamarine eyes twinkling with a familiar glow. "_Ah..._ could it be none other then..." she stopped, tapping her index finger against her lips and turning towards the back. "_Sirius Black_?" she asked, accenting the whole name.

I kept a neutral face since I knew Crystal would make an interpretation if I made a move. Yep, that's how much we know about one another. Unfortunately this didn't work this time around, for a grin was forming on her lips.

It was a failed action but I just rolled my eyes at this as I stared at the back of the person in front of me. Last thing I wanted to do was look towards the direction of the mentioned name and be pegged as the person who said it. Unlike Crystal, I wasn't so... outgoing with the whole world and much less with the opposite-sex. Funny how that comes to be since I've been sorted in Hufflepuff.

"So it is him then?" Crystal pressed as she placed her book of parchments within her book bag.

"No and I know he's good-looking and all but it's not about him." I said gruffly as I took up the quill I had placed beside the ink bottle. "Besides, _if _it was about him, what kind of chance would I have? He's way out of my league anyways"

This certainly had stopped Crystal from what she was doing. "There you go again" she said exasperated "With the whole pessimistic attitude. Sheesh! You'll never have somebody with it"

I exhaled the breath I was holding when Crystal had chosen to tell me about my effect. "So blame me for feeling quite inferior to those pretty girls out there"

Crystal sighed "Really, you think you are ugly? Are you aware how much I envy your hair..."

I rolled my eyes at this. What's there to envy? I was just like any other dark haired person and I would have been happy with that. But I was different, different in the way that I was related to one of the prettiest girls in school who was still known even after she had graduated from Hogwarts. It's sad to say that I was thankful that Victoria wasn't around any more but still people would comment about her and that pretty much made me self-conscious. After all, I am her sister and we _should _have certain qualities but apparently nature didn't intend that to happen.

"...a cute nose too" she continued, stopping when she noticed I wasn't paying attention. "Fine you don't believe me but what if I asked someone?"

"Alright, let's just forget about this whole thing!" I practically exclaimed as I stuffed the last book into my book bag.

"Oh c'mon, look at him" she said as she propped her elbow on the table then rested her chin on a curled fist. "Tell me you don't like him"

I shouldn't have but I did, I casually turned towards the back. There he was seated beside one of his friends and from the look of it he was being amused by something. I silently observed how his stylish long hair hanged just above his shoulders, and a stray lock was over one of his chocolate brown eyes. If it weren't that Crystal was observing me, which I was sure of, I would have still kept looking.

"So?" she asked, a slight grin spreading upon her lips.

I sighed as I picked up the strap of my book bag. "Its time for lunch and I'm quite hungry so...I'm off" I told her curtly as I stood up and quickly hurried toward the open door without looking back.

No sooner did Crystal catch up with me that we both ended walking the rest of the way together towards the Great Hall; my little 'revelation' all but forgotten.

* * *

"Hey, Sirius, what d'you look for in the girls you go out with?" we were making our way to lunch when James decided to open his mouth. It was as though he wanted to be a questionnaire in his past life.

"Well, they have to have one of the following qualities," I said. "First off… got to be human."

James looked shocked. "We would've never guessed it," he said making Peter snort.

"Female–"

"And here we all thought that you, out of all people, were gay," said Remus sarcastically, making James and Peter laugh.

"Intelligent," I continued but was obviously interrupted.

"You still haven't found one with that quality," said Peter.

"What about that girl I dated last year from Ravenclaw?" I asked.

"Weren't you the one questioning why she was placed there in the first place?" Remus so candidly reminded me.

"Oh yeah…" I said following the rest of the guys into the Great Hall and sitting down at my usual seat.

"So, guys, check it out," said James, which was the cue for everybody to find something more entertaining than James. He was rambling on and on about Lily.

I quickly found a distraction, an extremely hot girl who was staring at me from the Ravenclaw table. And seeing her practically undress me with her eyes made me realize that is the reason that no girl has taken me seriously, I mean I know I don't take them seriously either but hey I need a challenge. Girls always throw themselves at me and for once I wish that one would make me actually like her and bring out that sensitive part of me that I know is hidden somewhere. The fact is that nobody really understands me and it really bothers but there is nothing I can do about it. Or maybe it's just that I'd rather hide behind the part of me that's always making jokes and pulling pranks. Yeah, that's probably it. The sensitive side of me we'll probably make me look gay. Even though, I still wish I could find someone that will understand me.

"Hey, guys," I said over James' voice, he was practically yelling he loved Lily, and the reasons why, too. I noticed Remus had his head in his hands and was muttering something and Peter was sitting next to him banging his head on the table. It would have been very funny if I hadn't realized what James was saying.

"–her beautiful emerald green eyes that haunt my dreams. How I wish I could get lost in them for hours…"

I turned to James with a what-the-hell look on my face before smacking him upside the head. "Snap out of it, mate!"

"Wha–"

"What are you a poet?" I asked and he just rolled his eyes and started talking again. "Shut the bloody hell up, man, you're embarrassing us!"

"Really?"

"Yes!" said Remus, Peter, and I in unison.

James blushed. "So cute! Jamesie boy is blushing!" I teased.

"Sod off!" he said, hitting me on the arm.

"I am," I replied. "I have to go get my transfiguration book. I'll meet you guys back in the Common Room."

Walking out of the Great Hall I thought I felt someone's eyes following me but I didn't pay much attention to it. I ran up the stairs and into the transfiguration classroom. I grabbed a book and was about to walk back out when I noticed a piece of parchment on the floor.

_Bright, shining_

_Irises tell me all I_

_Really need to know_

_About this dreamy,_

_Irreplaceable boy who has_

_Enchanted my heart_

My ignorant self wanted me to laugh and throw the parchment back on the floor. But then, that part of me that so long has wanted to show itself convinced me otherwise. I sat on the desk and started writing. I didn't know why but I felt like I could relate to whoever had written this.

I don't know what came over me but I sure as hell felt like James. I was writing a poem and the worst part was that someone was going to read it, not only that but I was wishing the right person and she would write me back. At first I hesitated but it wasn't as though somebody was going to know I'd written it, so I just grabbed my book and headed back to the Common Room. It was going to be a long day.

* * *

A/N: This is a collaboration with Nocturnal007(she's Belle, I'm Sirius), it was first posted on her account taken down, and now it's back up this time on my account (obviously) and I hope you enjoy it! Don't forget to review and stay tuned for Sirius' reply to her poem... what will it be? (I feel like I'm in advertising... lol)  



	2. All At Once

**Chapter Two**

**

* * *

** I was sitting on the usual spot at the table, ignoring the conversation of my two friends Crystal and Alice; which I would have normally joined in if it weren't for the thoughts that were gnawing on my mind. Something... or should I say someone who I've seen before but never put much attention besides the obvious. But why all of a sudden? That was pretty much the question that kept me away from the 'real world' at the moment.

"So what's that pretty head of yours thinking?"

Normally, I would have dismissed such question and kept with what I was doing; unfortunately the question was coming from someone who I really didn't took a liking to.

"Should that really be any of your business?" I asked, finally turning to the sandy blonde haired boy in front; a person that wasn't there in the last couple of minutes.

Dale Macmillan was your average tall and thin looking person; someone who I've known since third year. I remember him being a timid boy but that suddenly changed as the years progressed, and I personally didn't appreciate this change since he became well... annoying. Of course, it seems I'm the only one who thinks of him this way.

"If there's a way I could help; then it is my business" he said, propping his elbows on the table to lean on.

"I appreciate it but _no_" I stated simply as I pushed my empty plate to the side.

"If I were you, I would be _care...ful_" Crystal said to him; obviously breaking away from whatever conversation she was having with Alice. Of course, this really didn't help my case at all.

"Who?" he asked, and I just _knew_ something was coming up. "The girl who always follows the rules?"

"The girl who's always so serious?" Alice added.

"The girl who was once a te--"

"Oh _hush _it!" I exclaimed, which was enough for them to actually pay attention or they where surprised by my outburst either way it worked. "I know who I am and I really don't _appreciate it_ that you three have to just bring it up" I uttered before placing my head flat against the table top.

"Hey, we were just kidding around" Dale said, "We'll leave you alone; better yet we'll ignore you!"

And it has been three minutes since I've picked to be ignored and no sooner was I was once again sitting straight up. Just then I noticed that I had a clear view of the person in question. I quickly looked down at my hands, not wanting to be caught by my friends and much less by him.

It couldn't be could it? _No_! of course not. I was not going to turn myself into one of his fan girls. Oh no, I wasn't going to fancy him like the others for that'll be the last thing I do! Sure, he's good to look at and that should be enough. Besides I've never fancied him before and why should I do so now? '_Because he's perfect_' that little inner voice of mine replied.

As if those where the coded words that broke through my thoughts; I looked back up just in time to see him leave the table and obviously the soon-to-be Great Hall.

"Um... Isabelle?"

I quickly turned towards the voice which happened to belonged to Crystal. "What?"

"Do you mind showing me those uh... creative words you wrote an hour ago?" she said, and I could just tell she was picking her words perfectly.

"Why?"

"Er... Crystal just told us how creative you where with forming specific words in such a form that it was just...you know, perfect" Alice said, giving me a weak smile.

I couldn't help but chuckle at my friends' lame attempts in trying to avoid an outburst from me. "So you want to see them?"

"Yes" she replied with a slight confused look.

"I don't have it with me" I said "must have left it in the classroom"

"Why don't you go get it? I mean, it was quite a poem and if I were you I would have kept it" Crystal said, shedding the person she was a minute ago.

She had a point, a good point. The poem might have been embarrassing and all but it was still quite creative and that's something that doesn't normally happen to me.

"True" I said, as I stood up from my seat with my book bag, "I should go and get it and have all of you three cherish such wonderful creativity!" with that I left the table.

I was about ten feet away from the door into the classroom when Professor McGonagall stepped out. "Professor" I called as I quicken my step towards her.

"Yes?" she answered as she glanced towards me before the thick book she was carrying; as if making sure she had the right one.

"I left something in the classroom and if it isn't much bother, I would like to just go in and get it quickly" I told her, which wasn't necessarily a lie.

"Alright then, but close the door after you step out." she said as she stepped away from the door,

"I wouldn't normally do this but I'm in a hurry and I trust that you, Miss Rey, will be able to do what you came for"

I smiled and assured her that I will do what she asked from me after I leave the classroom; she nodded and headed down the direction from where I came from.

I closed the door after me, as I made my way toward the front of the class. From here I had a clear view of my desk, but not of my parchment. I was sure that it must have fallen upon the ground, so I went up to my desk and looked below, only to find that there was no parchment in sight.

"Just great" I muttered to myself, knowing that I wouldn't be seeing that parchment no more. So basically I just came up to this classroom for nothing.

I was about to turn and leave when I noticed a piece of parchment on top of a different desk far from my own. Hoping that it was my mine; I quickly walked up to it and picked it up. But instead of finding my own words, I found something totally different.

_As beautiful as it may seem _

_It still tells me you're lonely_

_As funny as it may seem_

_I want to know_

_To whom his heart belong _

_That it doesn't belong to you?_

_Or why is it that his attention _

_You haven't yet caught?_

_I'm just guessing_

_But if he's ignoring your presence_

_Your heart to him doesn't belong_

I stared down at the paper, rereading the written words. This couldn't be a coincidence, right? Could someone at the same time leave a poem in just the same way I did? No, it couldn't be. Besides, it sounded much more like a response to something than an actual poem. And if it was, does that mean this person is waiting something from me? What do I have to lose if I answered? It wouldn't hurt, that's for sure.

I quickly took out a piece of parchment as well as a quill and sat myself down to write.

So there it was; a reply to something someone had wrote. The question now was this: Where would I leave it? The next class would start, so it wouldn't be such a good idea for me to leave it in such a visible spot. But where? It has to be in the same location that this person had left it for I'm sure they'll look for it in the same place. Why, under the desk of course! Sure, I'll need to leave some sort of clue but I'll get to that later.

I was sure it took me less then a minute for me to tape the 'note' under the desk with the magic tape I had; now I needed to leave a little clue for him. I suppose all this time I was fooling myself that I was replying to someone who's gender I didn't know, but it was obvious it was a guy. Of course it was, a girl wouldn't reply to my poem in the same way a guy would, right?

It was the obvious thing to do, writing something on the table. But I had to do so carefully because anyone would then be able to read what I've written. So I took my quill and placed it on the left corner of the desk and wrote only two words: _'Under Poem_' Hopefully he'll manage to understand them and look under.

After placing my quill back in the bag, I stood up and quickly left the room; closing the door behind me just as Professor McGonagall had requested.

* * *

Two days. Two days ago had been the last time we'd had Transfiguration. Of course, my schedule showed that I wouldn't be having it today till after lunch. Oh joy, didn't whoever makes the schedules know it was driving me crazy? I mean, I left a pretty stupid poem for someone to reply to. Was the poem actually found in the first place? By the right person? By McGonagall? Can you imagine Professor McGonagall reading something like that? She would probably blush while she remembered the last time someone wrote a poem for her. Yuck!

So right now I'm here in my bed unable to open my eyes thanks to a splitting headache I have courtesy of a late night escapade with a fifth year.

"Sirius, wake up," I heard someone say. It was probably Remus or Peter 'cause James was a heavier sleeper.

I rolled over and cover my head with my pillow. Needless to say it was no use whatsoever.

"SIRIUS!"

James Potter was up before me, I must have the hangover of the century.

"Sirius, we're going to be late for Potions," James shouted. That almost got me up. "And there is a fifth year Ravenclaw knocking at our door waiting for you to walk her to class." That made me roll over in bed all over again. Doesn't that girl know I have girlfriend? Hello, it's called fooling around. Nobody understands me, I'll never get tired of repeating it.

"Sirius Horatio Black!" that got me up.

"I thought we agreed second names are confidential, Jamesipoo," I replied. "And get rid of the girl, please. My girlfriend has issues other than me cheating on her."

"And it's such a mystery why you always go for blondes," said James chuckling. "How many times have you cheated on her this month?"

"Twice, and it's not like she doesn't cheat on me anyways," I said, going into the bathroom.

"Why are you to still together anyway?" James asked standing on the doorway.

I shot him a look. "Sirius you hook up more with other girls than what you hook up with her."

"Whoever said that was the reason?" James rolled his eyes. "Really, she's a good girl to hang out with."

"There's always the choice of friends with benefit."

"James, I'm not you. I flirt. I cheat. My girlfriend flirts. My girlfriend cheats. It's a vicious circle," I said, walking past him.

"So, you'd rather have people talking behind your back?"

"Where is she?"

"Great Hall."

"Thanks."

I walked over to my bed to get dressed.

"Going to break up with her again?" Remus asked James.

"They've never been more than a month together," James replied.

"Ten galleons they are back together before dinner," Peter said.

"Fifty they're back together before lunch," said James.

"You guys making bets about me?" I shouted from behind the curtains.

"If you weren't so predictable Sirius we wouldn't be making any money," replied Remus.

"I bet you a hundred galleons I don't get back with her before the end of the year," James, Remus, and Peter raised an eyebrow, looked at each other, and smirked.

"Each?" asked Peter.

"Yep."

"You're on."

"You guys are going to wish you'd never made that bet," I said walking out of the dormitory and into the Common Room.

"And why is that?" James asked.

"'Cause I'm moving on to brunettes, we can actually carry on an intelligent conversation.

The guys snorted. "Uh-huh," said Remus. "That's like telling James he's not going to ask Lily out."

We all laughed as we walked out of the portrait hole and down to the Great Hall.

Potions. The worst subject ever and I was actually good at it. But two hours of torture were too much, especially when Peter's cauldron kept making strange noises and emitting a nasty smell.

After potions we had Herbology and then lunch. My favorite subject. I had broken up with Ashley this morning, she didn't take it very well. But then again, girls never take it well. I guess it's because they'd rather be the "dumpers."

During lunch I kept looking over my shoulder over to Alicia, who spent the entire hour crying. I think she was actually doing it to see if I would crawl back, but I don't crawl. Girls do that, they're needy. And they don't understand me. Nobody does.

Transfiguration, I'd spent the entire day waiting for this moment and when I sat at my usual sit there was no sign of any reply. I should've expected that as it had been two days.

"Sirius, what are you thinking about?" James said under his breath as McGonagall went on and on about vanishing large objects.

"Nothing," I said shrugging and resting my head on the table.

'_Under Poem'_ I read. Somebody was trying to tell someone something. _Poem._ I repeated in my mind and then I remembered. I slid my hand under the table, carefully touching until I felt a piece of parchment. I tore it from under the table and opened it, hiding it from James' view.

_I'll first start off by saying that you have written quite a remarkable response to what I've written; I'm not sure whether it was intentionally or not but either way it was quite excellent. Of course I can't help but wonder why you, whoever you are, had decided to do so. _

_Honestly, I'm glad that someone happened to have a passion for writing such words in style and not be afraid to show it. Of course, I could be mistaken but that I wouldn't know, would I? and I'm sure that poem isn't meant to be answered..._

_I was planning to make this a short note and even though it doesn't look like one, it is (as if you haven't guessed). So I'll end it with this:_

_Wow to the eye sight and the whimsical desire_

_For what the eye sees, desire will inspire..._

I read the letter like three times before I replied. I taped it under the table just as the classed finished. I don't know why, but I felt good.


	3. Infatuation

**Chapter Three**

* * *

It's common sense that if one wants the time to go by quickly they should do something and that was what I've been doing since I've been in Professor McGonagall's class. I've been paying close attention to whatever McGonagall had been lecturing, that included taking down notes and not letting my mind wonder off. 

Of course that was a bit hard for me to do since I had three things that I've been thinking over in the last couple of days, one of them being quite important while the other two where just something that kept me interested. These things where: my upcoming Arithmancy exam, Sirius Black and that 'note' I had written not to long ago.

The only thing I needed to do about that exam was to study; I'm pretty much a good student in that class but one could never be so self-assured, right? Then there's that one person, who I've as of recently been thinking much more about; I was not quite surprised to find out through Crystal that he had broken up with some girl he had barely been going out with. Something like that _should_ steer me away from him but somehow that didn't do the work, but why am I even thinking that far anyway? Then there's that note I had taped under the desk, I admit that I had been looking forward to my Transfiguration class just to find out. That's pretty sad, don't you think? Thankfully I'm the only one who knows about it so there's no shame to it.

The time has come where everyone could finally leave this classroom only to tread onto their next destination. But there was one last thing that I needed to do before going to my next class.

"You are aware that class has ended, right?" Crystal said as she stood up from her seat.

I was still seated on mine, and apparently writing something down from the book I had open infront of me. "I know, why don't you go ahead and I'll catch up"

"_Okay_... but you are aware that we are the last four people in the classroom, right?" Crystal clearly reminded me.

I nodded, still not looking up. "I know but I'll catch up. So _shoo_"

"_Shoo_?" she asked, but I knew it wasn't much of a question. "you should have been a bit more blunt m'dear" she said amusingly before walking down the row of desks. Apparently she had taken my hint.

After I watched her leave, I quickly picked up my belongings and place them inside my book bag. By this time I was practically the only one left, except for a girl who was speaking with Professor McGonagall.

I took this time to quickly walk beside the desk where I thought I taped the note but ended finding it wasn't the one, I was only off by two desks when I found the right one. I was a bit unsure whether the parchment I felt was the one I've written, but that thought was washed away when I saw a whole different writing. I didn't read it but quickly folded back to its original and walked toward the desk where my book bag was sitting, without stopping I picked it up and walked out from the classroom.

I had only stepped out from the classroom when Dale had suddenly made himself be known.

"What are you doing here?" was the first thing I asked as he joined beside me as I walked down the hall.

"No greetings?"

"Well, _Hello!_" I mocked, as I placed the folded parchment I had carrying inside my book bag.

"You certainly need to practice your greeting" he said with a coy smile.

I couldn't help but chuckle at this, but not in a rude manner, hopefully... "And I'm getting this from a youn'gun?"

"Who are you calling a youn'gun? We're only three months apart and besides there's no difference since we're both sixteen"

I looked up at him with a smirk, "Little makes a difference, besides..." I was saying as we turned a corner, "what are you doing here? Isn't your next class back from where we came from?"

He stopped, "Right, well I'm off"

I shook my head, "Yeah, off you go" I told him before I continued my way to my own class. Ravenclaws, they were supposed to be smart, right? Quite a question indeed.

Before dinner, I had escaped from my friends for the spot under the beech tree by the lake. Of course, I took my Arithmancy book with me so I could study for the upcoming exam. But this wasn't the main reason why I came (and wanted) to be alone. Besides, I wasn't exactly alone since there were a couple of other students spotted around the still-green grounds of Hogwarts.

After making myself comfortable, the weather wasn't exactly cold, I took the folded parchment from the pages of the book and began reading it.

_Thanks. I never thought you'd actually found it. Your poem was quite good too, that's why I replied. It intrigued me. To tell you the truth I was absolutely scared someone would actually find it and think it was stupid or something. Still, I replied 'cause I somehow felt like we have something in common. It was your choice if you wanted to reply to the poem, but I must say it is much easier writing a letter than a poem someone might interpret the wrong way. Hope you find this... I'll end this with a fragment of a poem I once wrote..._

_The eyes of those who cannot see,_

_but the sound of a whisper can deceive..._

_P.S. If you reply to this I'll think about writing down the rest of it for you._

As I finished reading this for the second time, I couldn't help but smile. I was actually quite thankful that this person had taken his time to respond to what I've written, a silly gesture I suppose.

I took out the extra parchment as well as my quill and ink and began writing a response.

I reread what I've written, making sure that everything was just as I wanted it to be; it was out of my character for me to be putting something into another without knowing the result. I suppose I was just doing this because I was in no hurry to write a reply. Besides, who would know?

After Arithmancy class, and after taking the exam which was surprisingly easy, I've been

looking forward to Transfiguration, not because of its subject and much less about the people, I think, either way it was because I needed to do something _before_ the class started. And that something involved the letter, as I would now call it. But first, I would have to separate myself from Alice, which wouldn't be so easy. Sure, I could go and say that I needed to do something that I've forgotten but they all knew I wasn't some irresponsible person so inventing such excuse wouldn't work. Unfortunately, I made myself predictable.

"...So he has started calling you Belle"

I stopped in my tracks as I turned to her, we were walking towards the lavatory which fortunately happened to be close by Professor McGonagall's classroom. "Belle?"

She slowly nodded, "Yes, why the surprise?"

"Why all of a sudden?" I asked as I continued my steps. "we've known each other for a while now, so I suppose if shortening names where to start, that'll be back then"

"You still don't get it do you?" she asked, "you still can't understand the little gestures, the interest, the ev-?"

I stopped, again as I turned to her with a not so amused look. "What are you getting at?"

She smirked, as she walked past me towards the door that would lead into the girl's lavatory, "You're a smart gal, you can figure it out"

I knew what she meant, but that couldn't be.

"You know what, I have to go and uh do something..." I instantly replied, obviously trying to get away from such talk.

"Fine, but keep that in mind" I heard her say as I made my way towards the classroom. Well, that certainly was the perfect way for me to ditch a friend for the time being.

Transfiguration class wouldn't start for another fifteen minutes, and I was pretty sure people wouldn't be in class… yet. So I took this time to walk in, find the desk, tape the letter (with new tape of course), and walked out and all this happened without a single problem. Hopefully, that's how it'll be from now on.

* * *

"Sirius Horatio Black–"

"WHAT have I said about second names?" I said.

"That they are strictly confidential," replied Peter.

"Exactl–"

"But on special circumstances we're aloud to use them," interrupted Remus smirking.

"Like what special circumstance?" I inquired.

"You owe us a hundred galleons each, mate," said James.

"Why would I owe you three losers such a ridiculous amount of money?" I asked not really knowing what they were talking about.

"That bet we did about a week ago," said Remus. "About you and Ashley?"

"What about it?" I saw James roll his eyes. I really didn't know what they were on about.

"You are back with her!" Peter nearly shouted.

"I am?" that was seriously news to me.

"YES!"

"Why didn't I know that?"

"You're not back with her?" asked James raising an eyebrow. "You solemnly swear?"

"I solemnly swear I'm not back with Ashley," I said. "I'm with Alicia, her crying got to the point were it annoyed me and I had only spent one night with her."

"You mean you broke rule number two?" asked Peter. "I mean, you actually crawled?"

"I did not crawl!" I exclaimed indignantly. "I never said I was going to stay with her."

"When are you going to break up with her?" asked Remus. "Today? Tomorrow? Next two minutes?"

"Last option," Remus, Peter, and James looked at each other.

"Fifty galleons each I'm never going back to her," I said before they could utter a word.

"I love bet world," said James.

"I bet you will after you all have to pay me a hundred and fifty galleons each," I replied taking my Transfiguration books and walking out the portrait hole.

"Uh-huh," they all muttered following me.

"You don't believe me?" I asked over my shoulder.

"Who does?" Remus muttered under his breath.

"I heard that," I said rolling my eyes.

"Damn that stupid canine hearing of his." said James.

"Well he _is_ a dog," said Peter matter-of-factly.

"Thanks for reminding me, Peter," I said as we all sat down at Gryffindor table for lunch.

"Sirius!" I heard a voice say behind. Alicia. I looked down the table and saw Ashley staring incredulously at me. Why did girls have to be so complicated?

"What?" came my flat reply as Alicia sat down next to me.

"What's–" she stopped abruptly. "Oh, no Sirius. You're not breaking up with me are you?"

"Nice to see your Ravenclaw brain works, darling," I blew a kiss in her general direction. She stood there glaring at me for a couple of seconds before turning on her heel and making a mad dash for the Great Hall exit.

"Sirius, I truly love watching the different ways you break up with your girlfriends," said Remus. "First Ashley, whom I might say didn't take it very well. Now, Alicia, who, I might add, is going to be bawling her eyes out again for everyone else to pity her… way to go man!" said Remus shaking his head.

"Remus, you seriously need to get laid soon, mate," he threw a brownie Peter was eating in my direction but I dodged it easily, I guess Snape didn't have the same reflexes.

"Hey, I was going to eat–" complained Peter but his rant was cut short by Snape's angry voice.

"Then you should've put it in your mouth where it belongs," said Snape.

"But, Snivelly," I said mockingly. "Brown is such a good color on you! You should really think about making it your new color of choice, 'cause black… well, it is associated with me and you don't really like me that much do you?"

Snape's lip curled before he went back to sitting at his table. They guys all laughed as we took our stuff to go to transfiguration.

We made it to the class room in record time since we were late.

"Mr. Black, Mr. Potter, Mr. Pettigrew… late, as usual. But I'm mildly surprised in you Mr. Lupin," said Professor McGonagall… such a nice teacher we've got ourselves. "Well sit down… or are you waiting for an invitation sent by owl post?"

We all sat down trying to muffle our laughter… well, all except Remus. He absolutely hated being late.

I never thought I would say something like this but today McGonagall's class was absolutely boring. I didn't know if it was truly boring or I just didn't find the point of the whole thing. I think I'll go with the latter, 'cause I am not really paying attention to anything she's saying anyway. So I just sit here contemplating my shitty life. Very entertaining actually, considering I have just realized that I've kissed over fifty girls in the last three years. What a playa… okay, so that is good in a circle of friends were you can blab on and on about how you don't kiss and tell and well… whatever. I don't think I've ever kissed a girl I have really truly liked. Kind of pathetic, but hey, I'm sixteen. I have plenty of time to truly like girls, truly break their hearts, truly get my own heart broken, and truly fall in love… I'm starting to sound like a girl… well, more like a selfish, ignorant boy… yeah that sounds better.

I suddenly remembered something. Transfiguration. Letter. I touched under the table and sure enough there was a letter taped. I could only hope it was not the same one I had written. After further inspection I realized it wasn't so I opened it.

"What have you got there?" asked James trying to pry it out of my hands.

"Move over, Potter, it is absolutely none of your business." I said hastily putting the letter inside my bag. James kept struggling to get it, but what he managed was to get us everyone's attention and a week worth's of detention from McGonagall for refusing to tell her what we were fighting about. Way to go, Prongs!

I sat later in my room and read the letter.

_I have no idea why you would bother to think that someone would think your poem is stupid, besides why should you care? You should be proud, well not exactly proud, but grateful with what you were given with. Unlike me, it comes and goes._ _Either way, I do agree with your statement of something so 'simple' being interpreted the wrong way._

_On a different note, I would like to say that you were right in saying that I had the option to reply but why make it sound like it were bad? Personally, I think this to be quite interesting, hopefully you don't think I'm odd but why am I even writing that when you don't even know who I am? Yes, that's the fun part don't you think?_ _For all I know I might be corresponding with a first year, which would be a bit_ _odd of course, doubtful, but nonetheless odd. I'm a sixth year, just to let you know. It's up to you whether you'll like to divulge what year you're in._

_I'm pretty sure that if I kept going, I'll make this into quite a letter and that will bore you to death and that'll be no good. But before I end this, I would like to say that I really like that second sentence of the fragment of a poem you had written. And since I've replied, I would look forward for the rest if you have the chance._

I read the letter about three more times before I made up my mind about what I was going to write back.

"Sirius?" said James poking his head through the door. I put the letter in my pocket before turning back to him.

"We have detention in five minutes," he said. _Perfect_, now I would be able to put the letter under the table.

"Coming… Coming," I said trying to sound bored and casual. But I smirked as soon as James' back was facing me.

* * *

**A/N: **Thank you guys so much for the reviews! Keep it up! (now I feel like a cheerleader...) Hope liked this chap and if you're bored you can read the rest of my fics and Nocturnal007's 


	4. You and Me

**Chapter Four**

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It's been two days since Alice had brought up the idea that a particular someone liked me more than one way. Of course I really didn't give it much thought after hearing so, but apparently it has caught up with me now.

"Is there anything I should know?" I asked Crystal after Alice had left for Gryffindor table, her sorted home. Dale, of course, wasn't around.

"What do you mean?" she asked as she placed her empty cup of Pumpkin juice back down.

"Like..._something_" I answered, trying not to be so blunt. Then again, it would have helped.

"Belle?" she said before picking up the cup again. "I don't know whether its me or not, but thi-"

"So when did _you_ started calling me by that?" I asked her with a semiserious smile.

She shrugged as she placed the cup down. "Oh, I don't know. I just became bored calling you by your name" she replied with an amused look. "Is that what you meant?"

Before I could answer, I noticed that many of the students were leaving their table. Which meant that lunch has obviously ended. Which also means there's about five minutes before Transfiguration started.

"An owl heading this way" Crystal stated as she looked past me.

"What would an owl be do-" I was cut short as a large barn owl flew above us, dropping a large envelope. Which instead of dropping on an empty space, it had decided to topple the large pitcher of pumpkin juice standing before me. "Bloody hell!" I blurted as I quickly stood up from my seat to avoid getting soaked, only to notice that I was a bit too late.

"What a potty mouth you have there"

I ignored Crystal's comment as I stared down in disbelief at what I saw. Not only was the bottom half of my robe splattered with pumpkin juice, but my legs were practically soaked with it as well.

"Just GREAT" I exclaimed as I quickly took off my school robe. "Of all things, this has to happen" I said as I quickly looked over the table in search of something to clean myself with.

"The letter's for you though" Crystal said.

I just nodded angrily as I took the only thing that was dry, my school robe, and started patting down my legs with it. "ugh... I can't just sit in a two hour class being all sticky-like" I murmured.

"Well, why don't you just skip today?"

I quickly looked up at her, "Skip? Oh no" I answered as I quickly folded the robe, well as best as I could. "and we aren't going to be late either, lets go" I ordered as I picked up my school bag, and headed towards the Great Hall entrance.

We managed to arrive in class just seconds before Professor McGonagall was to close the classroom door, a signal that if you were to walk in late, you were going to get attention. But even though we weren't exactly late, we still got the attention. Of course I avoided the looks from the others until I reached my usual desk, while Crystal seemed to take her time.

"Now, will you all open your books to page..."

"Here's your letter" Crystal whispered as she slid the large envelope towards me.

I took the envelope and placed it between the parted pages as I placed my folded robe into my school bag. After doing this, I finally relaxed.

My curiosity has gotten the best of me, as usual, when I decided to find out what the letter was about. Inside the envelope was a colored photograph along with a written letter, all from Victoria.

The letter was about her training in the field of handling magical creatures in the northern part of France (I have no idea why she was studying over there and not here), how she was hoping I was enjoying my sixth year in Hogwarts and lastly, about her recent engagement to another wizard. The photograph was about them, and I could see that they were very much happy with one another. Of course she should be, she is engaged to be married to an equally attractive guy. Oh and not to mention that she's only eighteen and he's, from what I've been told, only twenty-two. Really, I don't get it. Nonetheless, I'm her sister and I should be happy for her. I am. I will.

After dinner, I decided to ditch my friends for the new mysterious stranger. Well, not necessarily ditch them but just to be away for a while. Oh, I suppose I am getting a bit carried away by this whole matter but it is _that _interesting though.

I took a quick shower before returning to the Common room, where I finally pulled out the letter from one of the books I had with me and began to read.

_Well I learned about the "something simple being interpreted the wrong way" the hard way... Almost everything I say is interpreted the wrong way by people other than my close friends. Obviously, that is because they know me better but I guess I don't really care about other people interpretations about what I said. It is their choice to believe what they want to believe so..._

_Most of the things I say and do, stupid things, I never feel embarrassed about, but things that actually have a meaning, that's another story. I get so scared that I misinterpret what other people feel... It's a little nerve-racking, I guess... oh, well..._

_The only thing I can tell you about my day is that it sucked pretty badly. I broke up with my girlfriend, my ex-girlfriend (not the one I just broke up with) spend the whole day glaring at me for some reason, and my friends keep making bets about me. If I'm not careful I'll have to pay a hundred and fifty galleons each... and that is nothing compared to other bets._

_My life has been kind of stupid lately, so I really have nothing interesting to say, well maybe except for 'nice try.' Do you actually think I'm going to give up my poem that easily? Ha! I want you to answer one question... Do you have a boyfriend? If not, well, get one because I want the poem to actually fit. Oh and by the way it's kind of pathetic but I don't think you'll find it pathetic. I got to go now because my friends are coming and I'll be teased for eternity if they find me writing a letter._

After I read the last two semi-paragraphs, I couldn't help but be amused that this letter was heading in a total different way. In other words, it was actually getting personal. This meant I knew what I was going to write about, so I took out a new piece a parchment and my quill, and began to write.

There it was, finished. Only this time it is an actual letter.

Like the last time, I managed to place the folded letter under the desk before anyone was to arrive. Thinking that I had gotten my away again, I casually walked out of the classroom. Only to accidentally bumped against Professor McGonagall.

"Ms. Rey, what a surprise to see you early. Considering how you practically arrived late last class session" she said as she adjusted her spectacles with her free hand. The other one, as before, was carrying a book.

I gave her one of my best smiles, "I… I just came here to check whether you needed any help of sorts" I quickly said, knowing well enough that the Professor wouldn't suspect anything.

"There's still ten minutes left of lunch..." she said as she looked into the room before turning back to me again. "So, if your offer is still open, why don't you drop by after dinner?"

"Certainly, I'll come by after" I replied as I slowly started stepping to the side.

"Oh and will you try to arrive a couple minutes early before six," she asked, "I'm asking you this because there'll be two students who'll be coming in for detention and I would like for you to get situated before they arrive"

I nodded, "I'll be here" with that she excused herself and so did I.

As I made my way down the hall, I finally realized who those two students might be that she mentioned. It was two classes ago, that Sirius and James gotten themselves detention for disrupting the class. And everyone knew that detention was served after dinner, a punishment for those of rude behavior obviously. So that meant that _he'll _be there.

Really, I wouldn't have mind helping her sort her stacks of parchments or whatever. But now, knowing that he'll be there, well, that would not really make the whole situation pleasant. But, why am I _even_ worrying about this? It's not like he'll be watching or anything. Besides, he might have homework or sorts. How would I know? I've never had detention so I wouldn't know what was allowed and what was not. All I knew was that I'll be giving him some sort of impression of myself, and that is _if _I catch his attention.Which I doubt...

* * *

I'll absolutely never get tired of saying "Way to go, Prongs! Another detention to our long list!" It's the third day of detention and might I add it is absolutely and positively horrendous! I've never written so much in my whole entire life. It's as though all those years of not taking notes just fell on my head in large stacks… Yeah, that's pretty much it. Well, at least I can see if my little pen-pal wrote back. That would be nice; it would probably take the boredom and the headache away for a couple of minutes.

"Mr. Potter, Mr. Black," I heard McGonagall say, and boy she didn't sound very nice.

"I see that just as you're late for my class, you're late for detention," she said. I looked at James. He's said we had five minutes. I think one day I might actually punch him… not really but the mental picture is classic.

"Sorry, Professor," I muttered. She looked at us for a moment before letting us into our classroom. "Don't mind Miss Rey. She's just helping me, unlike you two, she is actually a good, detention free student."

I had the sudden urge to roll my eyes and bust out laughing.

"Teacher's pet," I muttered at James, who disguised his laugh with a cough. I looked over at "Miss Rey" and recognized her. She was from Hufflepuff and if I'm not mistaken friends with a girl I'm very much interested in flirting with…

The point is that she also took Transfiguration with me, and was not at all ugly. Just, not really my type.

When James was already situated at the other end of the classroom and McGonagall was immersed correcting papers I went to sit at the desk the letter always is, but I noticed Ms. Rey glance nervously. I shrugged it off and sat down, pretending to start doing my lines before I untapped the letter. I put it in my pocket and continued with my detention.

The girl left like twenty minutes before McGonagall let us off. I was actually kind of relieved since I could feel her eyes on me the whole time she was there. Unless McGonagall has a secret crush on me and that's why she always gives me detention… that thought gave me chills.

I was finally safely in my room, behind the curtains of my bed when I opened the letter.

_You know, I'm quite the opposite of you. Any little stupid thing that I do or say actually makes me feel quite an idiot. Oh sure, I suppose I should laugh once in a while at my stupidity but eh.. well, lets just say that it isn't necessarily expected from me. Then again, I've never taken that role... On the other hand, I don't even try to interpret what the other person is doing or have said. Mainly so because well, I might interpret it wrong. Honestly, I prefer it when a person can be blunt about it. It saves time._

_So you have broken with your girlfriend? That's interesting. So your ex-girlfriend is mad at you? That's twice as interesting. Why would she be mad at you anyway? Could it be that you just dated one after the other? If that's it, well, it might be understandable... then again, it might not be. Why would your friends be making bets on you? Of course, that's none of my business, but I just find your whole situation... Well... Amusing in a way. _

_You think your life has been stupid lately? I don't know about that, but I certainly had a ridiculous day today. This owl delivered a letter to me at the end of lunch time (which isn't the norm, as you would know), had dropped the envelope on a large pitcher of pumpkin juice and literally spilled it all over my lap and legs! After that, I had to spend practically half of my day all sticky like, and honestly, that's not a good feeling. Thank goodness girls aren't required to wear pants or my situation might have been quite different... As for the envelope, it was from my sister. Telling me that she was engaged and all, at the age of 18. From now on, if I were to get engage, it would have to be after 18... Yes, I'm not crazy and/or stupid._

_Oh for crying out loud! You aren't going to give me the rest of the poem just because I don't have a boyfriend? And even though I don't have one, I should just 'get one'? I don't know about you, but I just cannot go up to some random guy and ask him like that. Really, don't be mean now._

I laughed quietly when I finished reading the letter. It was getting kind of personal now, but I didn't really care

I sneaked out of the dormitory under James' invisibility cloak and almost got caught by McGonagall herself when I was going out of her classroom after taping the letter under the desk. I'd never spent so long holding my breath, I swear. Oh, well, at least I didn't get more detention…

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**A/N: **So sorry for my lack of updates... I blame my laziness... also my mother for cutting off my internet access for over two weeks. Anyway, here it is and expect a new chapter soon as it is already written and revised. 


	5. Things I'll Never Say

**Chapter Five**

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I couldn't believe it, but it happened, I've officially gave him the first impression of myself. Could it been avoided? Not exactly, but was it necessary for Professor McGonagall to go and name me as _the _perfect student? I've never felt so embarrassed! I should just give it up now before I make myself look like a fool.

"I'll meet you outside of class" was the only thing I caught from Crystal before she made her way amongst the students walking out of class. Why would she even say that when it appears that she is some hurry to leave? Oh, I'll never understand that girl.

As it has become of my routine, I was one of the last people to leave the classroom. But before doing so, I took the letter tapped under the desk. And just like Crystal said, she was waiting for me outside.

"You'll never guess who I was working with last night in the library," was the first thing she said before I could even questioned her why she was waiting for me.

"I don't know, a boyfriend I'm not aware of?" I replied simply as we walked together towards out next class.

"Nope, guess again"

I sighed, "I'm out of guesses, so who was it?"

"Your no fun today, why's that?" Crystal asked as she glanced over at me. Oh no, she was going to try to analyze me.

"Headache" I answered without looking at her. "So?"

"Remus Lupin"

I stopped on my tracks as I turned to her, she better not have done any snooping.. "What for?"

She was smiling, but not that kind of smile, the smile that one gives when they where caught doing something they shouldn't have done. Great, she snooped.

"Not about Sir-"

"That was my intention!" she quickly stated, "but, Peter was there so I couldn't have done so in front of him. So instead we were talking about the writing assignment that McGonagall had assigned to us the other day. In the end Peter left and the two of us continued…"

I stared at her, not totally surprised that she went and done this. "and..?"

She smiled, a genuine one. "He's… interesting"

I grinned, "You fancy him!"

"I do not, I just find him very interesting" she said, again. "Another potential male friend, I suppose so."

"Oh sure, _another_" I repeated as I continued my way down the hall.

Crystal quickly caught up with me, "Really, I don't fancy him. If you do, then I could arrange a me-"

I scoffed, "No thanks, not him nor Sirius."

Crystal let out a laugh, "Don't tell me you are still upset with what McGo-"

"I'm not!" I interrupted, "I just became aware that we have nothing in common. If there was anyone, then it could have possibly been Remus"

"I'm meeting him tonight, would you like to come along?" she offered. I couldn't believe this girl!

I sighed, "Forget it, lets just get going."

I was sitting in one of the empty tables in the library later that day when I decided to read the letter, but before doing so I remembered that I needed to write a letter to Victoria as well. But what's the hurry? It has only been a couple of days that she had sent me her own, so it wouldn't hurt if I send her mine much later.

Taking out the folded letter I had hidden inside one of the books I brought with me, I began to read.

_There is always a part of me that feels embarrassed after I've said something stupid, but I always shrug it off. I'm actually considered a disgrace to my mother because I'm so careless, but I don't sweat over it anymore, I don't think I've ever had, but now I barely even think about it... I ran away from home this summer and personally I've never been happier. _

_I think I've had enough about my sad and pathetic side, it always makes me kind of nauseous._

_A lot of people think of my love life as absolutely intriguing (my friends, for example). Making bets about me is practically their job. The bet thing would be really amusing if it wasn't me the one losing money here. My three best friends have two bets one a hundred galleons each and one fifty galleons each, I have to pay them if I hook up with either one of them before Christmas. I'm planning on shutting myself on the dormitory until then..._

_Okay, so what happened was that I broke up with A (let's identify them by letter it'll be much easier to explain) because I hooked up with B. That same day B told me she wanted to be my girlfriend and I refused. Later on, she was crying her eyes out for the world to see and I got pretty fed up so I said that she could be my girlfriend. (All of this happened in the same day, I broke up with A at breakfast and got with B at dinner time very insensitive of me...) Then, the next day I broke up with B, and caught A glaring at me because obviously she realized what was going on. And thank god up to now I haven't seen them again..._

_I see absolutely no problem with your sister being engaged at eighteen. I mean, if she loves him why not marry him? Personally, I wouldn't do it either. I kind of do everything in my power not to feel committed every time I have a girlfriend._

_My day wasn't that bad but it wasn't interesting either. I suppose that's what detention does to you. Makes you feel rather you have no clue what was boring or interesting about your day. I suppose detention shouldn't traumatize me anymore, it's been like five years since I've been getting detention at least every week but, whatever._

_Ha! That is not a mean thing to do! I was just merely pointing out that since you don't have a boyfriend the poem doesn't really apply. I go up to random girls every week so I wouldn't know how you feel about that...(why do you think I'm always in trouble with my ex-girlfriends!) Okay, tell you what, since you're such a big baby I'll write two more verses and THAT is it!_

_My love can see my soul just by listening to me speak_

_But chooses to ignore what from that heart I want to receive_

_Okay, so I've never felt so embarrassed in my life. You managed it. Congratulations! I think I'm going to go and hide under my pillow..._

This wasn't something I was expecting, a direct insult from some unknown stranger. Well, not exactly an insult because I found the whole situation funny but.. well.. it was cute. Cute? No, I meant funny yeah, just funny. Besides, I managed to get what I wanted so yeah, everything was well and dandy. So I pulled out a new parchment and began to write.

It was during lunch, as usual, that I made my way up to Professor McGonagall's classroom without getting caught. But as I walked out of the room into the hall, I saw the task of returning back to the Great Hall tedious. Luckily there was only fifteen minutes left of lunch before classes started, so there was only the matter of waiting for the time to go by. Yep, school life keeps being the same...

* * *

"Guess what I'm doing tonight?" said Remus cheerfully as he walked into the dormitory.

"Making mad, passionate love to yourself?" I asked not looking up at him. Peter snorted and I smiled.

"No," said Remus flatly, the cheerfulness gone.

"Going to bite yourself?" I tried again, making James join in the laughter.

"Must every comment that comes out of your mouth end with 'yourself'? Remus asked me irritated.

"Well, we _are_ talking about you, Remus," I pointed out. "And you barely do anything that has to do with real people or the opposite sex."

"He's got a point, you know" said James making Remus glare.

"Yeah, side with him," he said. "I'm going to meet a _girl…_"

"Remus, your mother doesn't count," James said, I laughed out loud. It was a common joke.

"Crystal, from Hufflepuff," said Remus through gritted teeth. He seemed very annoyed…

"No…" I said. "Not that hot girl that always hangs out with 'teacher's pet'!"

"Who's teacher's pet," asked Peter.

"Isabelle Rey," replied James. "Professor McGonagall likes to rub in the fact that the girl's never gotten a detention."

I rolled my eyes.

"Yep, Crystal's her friend." I found myself whining at Remus reply. "What?" he asked.

"I wanted to hook up with her… she's hot!" I said, I think I was almost pouting.

"So?" said Peter. "You will hook up with anything that moves… and it's not like girls don't practically throw themselves at you."

"Yeah you're right, Peter," I said. "For a change…" I added under my breath.

"Why don't you hook up with teacher's pet?" I almost gagged when James suggested it. She was cute but not _that_ cute.

"I so know you're joking, Prongs."

"Why?" James asked seriously. He was seriously missing the point.

"You want me to actually try and hook up with teacher's pet?" I asked. "Have you even seen her?"

"Yeah…"

"I think I'll be sending a letter to the church…" I said slumping down on my bed.

"Why would you, out of all people, do something like that?" asked Peter looking around incredulously.

"'Cause I think I'd rather be a priest."

Remus snorted. "You, a priest? I think you're a little late for that, mate… Like you say; you 'like hooking up'."

"Ha ha… very funny, Moony," I said sarcastically. "Theirs is only one way of actually getting to bed girls like that."

"What way would that be "Mr. Expert of Woman Kind" asked James raising an eyebrow.

"Think of the word that doesn't go in the same sentence as my name," I replied and I saw three smiles forming.

"Commitment," they said in unison before they busted out laughing.

"Can you imagine?" said James struggling to breath. "Sirius in a relationship longer than a month?"

"Forget that," said Peter, who was practically rolling on the floor. "Sirius _in_ a relationship."

All this time, my glares went unnoticed.

"You can stop now," I said after about ten minutes. "It's not that funny." For some odd reason they busted out laughing again. I rolled my eyes and walked out of the room. Since they were laughing at me, I might as well go and do something productive.

"Aha!" I said aloud and quickly scolded myself. I looked around making sure Professor McGonagall wouldn't burst out of the wall or something before taking the later and shoving it inside my pocket.

I went back to the Common Room to find James doing his homework along with Peter. Remus was nowhere in sight.

I sighed and sat down next to James. "What do we have for tomorrow?" I asked staring into the fireplace.

"Potions and Transfiguration," said Peter not looking up from his essay.

"Done and done," I said before taking the letter out of my pocket. I acted as though it was just another piece of parchment. I doubted Peter was going to notice but James being so nosy obviously did.

"None of your business, Prongs," I said waving a hand at him. "This is not your department." He nodded in understanding and went back to his homework.

See, we have these little departments we consult each other on and until we discuss it with the main person on the department it cannot be discussed with the other guys. James is the head of the "How To Get Rid Of A Girl" department. Peter is the head of the "Who Is The Hottest Girl At The Moment" department, unbelievably he had good taste. I am the head of the "How To Get A Hot Girl" department and the "How To Avoid Being With A Girl For More Than A Month" department. And well, Remus, him being the most mature of the four of us was the head of the "What The Hell Is Happening To Me" department. Yep, I had no clue what was happening to me but I suddenly felt obsessed with finding out who this mysterious girl is.

_So you ran away from home this summer and are happy about it? Your mother sees you as a disgrace? Hmm... I don't know what to say to that besides the obvious, that's quite interesting. No really, it is. Seriously, something much bigger is behind it all, am I correct? No need to answer if you don't feel like it…_

_So the bet is still going on? Hm, I suppose that's much better than you losing. Are you really that predictable? Well, when it comes to your love life, if I may call it, you certainly seem so. Then again, I shouldn't jump to conclusion to quick, should I? Well, you certainly seem much more interesting than I would have thought you to be, especially when it came to your ex-girlfriends, which I wouldn't blame for how they acted. Then again… these girls really should... err... oh never mind._

_You are afraid of commitment aren't you? Or is it the fact that you can't stand the idea of being with one girl forever? Is that the reason why you are able to uh... Jump from one girl to the next? Has it ever occurred to you that you might one day really like a girl only for her not share the same feeling thanks to the err.. reputation that you might have? Are you getting annoyed by the many questions that I'm asking you? Yes? No? Maybe so? Sorry, I'm in a silly mood at the moment. _

_You had detention too? and you apparently aren't bothered by it. Practically five years straight? You are worse then I would have thought! Haha.. Seriously, I've never received detention and from the looks of it I'm not getting one either. Is that bad? No, its actually quite good. _

_I suppose I should give you a little update of my life, or day or whatever you want to call it. Guess what? I've been feeling quite ridiculous in these last couple of days. Why? Because I'm pretty sure I made myself look like a stupid girl in front of a guy who I fancied. Yes, its past tense. Yes, I don't like him any more. Why? Because he's.. well.. I'm not going to go into details as to who he is. Then there's this other guy who supposedly is interested in me, only he's a friend and well... yeah, as you can see I'm not into the whole idea of friends-dating-friends. Heh._

_Why, thank you for sharing me the next two verses of your poem! I knew you would understand! and to be nice, I'll be letting a letter or two pass before I request the other verses of your poem. Deal? Yes? Great! _

_So I've managed to embarrassed you in a way that no one else has? Yay! Do I get a prize? Oh there should be one if I managed to embarrassed a great person like yourself! Unfortunately, bragging rights I can't take… Lucky you..._

I chuckled at all of her questions. Note to self: the girl likes getting into the role of questionnaire… just like James.

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**A/N:** Thank you so much for the reviews! Hope you enjoyed this chapter  



	6. Underneath

**Chapter Six**

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I sat in the middle of my bed, well, not exactly _my _bed but in the bed I slept in. Either way, I was here and that's what counted. I had the letter in front of me also, but I still hadn't opened it.

It was only an hour that I took it from underneath the desk; which means I should be in my Arithmancy class but instead, I'm on the bed. Sitting, and twiddling the letter. Oh sure, I'll be taking any notes that Crystal had written down, that is if she hadn't been thinking of say new 'male friend'.

Talking about her new 'male friend' better known as Remus, she had practically spent the whole Halloween feast with him this past weekend. This pretty much meant that I was left with Alice, not that it was bad thing. Actually, it was a good thing that Crystal wasn't around or she would have also have seen my ridiculous self.

I don't know whether it was the moment or not, but I was feeling a bit... daring and somehow Dale's name came into our conversation. Oh _yeah, _I've been paying much close attention to his actions and they where still there. So being that I was in some daring mood, I had gone and talked to him. Of course, he was around a few friends of his but he managed to shake them off. Well, to make the story short, I had actually started flirting with. Something that I still cannot believe I did. His reaction? He became shy... better yet, nervous.

I wouldn't have guessed correctly of the reason if it weren't for a pretty brunette walking up to him, and actually planting a kiss on his cheek. Apparently, this girl, was his new girlfriend who had been observing the scenario. How did I know? Because I walked past her as I made my way to Dale. Proper introductions didn't happen though for obvious reasons.

I totally felt like an idiot, so much that I actually left the feast and headed back up to dormitories. I tried my best to tell Alice I was leaving, but I suppose my feelings at the moment weren't so controlled. I know this had nothing to do with her, but eh... I couldn't help it... Later that night I found out through Alice (a very nice friend, I tell you), that the girl's name was Alicia who also was in Dale's sorted home.

Since then, I haven't seen him or his lovely dear. Well, actually, I've been avoiding him as to her, no purpose. So why was I still missing class then? Just for the heck of it. Will my class mark be affected? Unlikely, since I've been pretty much a good student till now.

I looked down at the letter, and wondered why I still haven't read it. Was I that preoccupied with what happened in the feast? Apparently so if I haven't joyfully, read this letter as before.

But before reading it, I quickly crawled over to the end of the bed and pulled out a sheet of parchment and the usual quill and ink from my book bag I had there. Returning back to where I was, I opened the letter.

_If you had an old hag for a mother I think you would be happy to be away from her too. Yeah, it's quite interesting. My family is all dark wizards (not Death Eaters, though...) and well I was sorted into Gryffindor and that didn't sit well with my mum. I remember I got like seven howlers in one day from various family members and a visit from my parents. And believe me there is absolutely nothing more embarrassing than having your mother pull you by the ear until we got to Dumbledore's office. It would've been very amusing if my ear hadn't hurt so much._

_After almost six years of friendship they sure enough know when I'm going to break up with a girl. And, they absolutely, positively know when I'm getting with the same girl again so, having a bet going on is basically their job. By all means, finish that thought. I would really love to know the way a girl who doesn't like walking up to guys and flirting with them thinks. I want to know what you think of them, 'cause personally I think they all are rejected at home and come to look for attention in school. I kind of pity them, but then again I don't mind the attention I get from them so... I don't really think that makes much sense..._

_My Friends say that my name doesn't go on the same sentence as commitment and I guess it is true. Today, they were having a very good laugh about it. No, they didn't make a bet about it... thank god. I wouldn't mind being with a girl forever... but she WILL have to wait until I turn forty if she actually wants me to get committed. That's why I'm not with a single girl for a long time. I hate the idea of me falling in love early because I wouldn't know if it really was love. It could be a very strong crush and would get married and then the separation and her getting nasty about it. The thought gives me chills... I don't mind you asking me questions but I should really introduce you to one of my friends. You would live happily having another questionnaire by your side... just teasing you, but really I don't know which one asks more questions._

_The only thing that bothers me about this detention is that I've never written so much in my entire life. It's like the teacher knows I never take notes but still manage to get the best grades. I have love/hate relationship with that teacher. Yes, it is bad that you haven't gotten any detention! You should get at least one before you graduate! And for some odd reason I think I'm going to be the one responsible for it... ha._

_Why did you make an ass of yourself? You said or did something wrong? Or what? I don't think girls can forget boys that easily, so I'm not buying it. So what if you date a friend? It's better that way because if you already have a friendship with him I don't think that if you ever break up that'll be damaged. The friendship came before the relationship, not the other way around._

_No, we don't have a deal. I'm not giving you the rest of the poem until I find it appropriate, okay? My poem, I make the rules... don't even try to argue about it._

_No, you don't get a prize and you have no proof that what I said was true so don't feel proud. Ha ha... I'm too smart for you, I just noticed. I feel mean... bah._

_Anyway, got to go now, I'm going out to spy on one of my friends. He's on a date with a girl I wanted to hook up, isn't he nice? Whatever, at least he'll take her seriously. Bye_

I grinned as I read throughout my pen-pal's letter. It was very amusing, but still enough I couldn't help but wonder who he was. I mean, he sounds like a very neat guy to meet but at the same time he sounded so much like... well... that doesn't matter. Nonetheless, he was interesting.

"Busy as a bee, aren't you?"

I quickly glanced over see Crystal walking in with her schoolbag at hand; apparently she has caught what I was doing.

"I take it by your presence that class has ended, right?" I said, as I folded the letter before looking up at her.

"Apparently so," she said, as she placed her schoolbag at the end of her bed, "so what where you doing?"

"Finished writing a letter to Vicky" I replied after getting off from the bed, "Now I'm just going to owl this off..."

"'owl it off', I find that strange amusing" she said with a slight chuckle. I merely stared at her, not seeing the point of it being amusing.

"Yeah, well... I'm go no-"

"By the way, Dale wants to talk to you"

I looked at her, again. "But I don't want to"

She smirked, "You are making a big deal out of this... could there perhaps be something?"

I kept staring at her, before I turned around and walked away. Yeah, I've barely realized that myself, I thought.

"I'm going to go now, I'll see you later..." I said, before walking out of the dormitory.

Of course, I didn't go to the tower to send my dear sister a letter. Instead, I left the letter where it was meant to be left at. And that being under one of the desks in Professor McGonagall's classroom.

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I was sitting on my bed still pondering if I should tell Remus about this mystery girl. I had already told him I wanted to talk to him but I didn't tell him what for. If I decided not to tell him, I could easily dodge any question or glare but I felt the need of telling someone. And, James… well let's just say he is not head of the department for a reason. 

"What did you wanted to talk to me about, Pad?" said Remus entering the room.

"Well…" I started. "The thing is that…" I sighed in defeat and handed him the pack of letters.

He spent about fifteen minutes reading them. Frowning once while, laughing the next second. I could barely contain myself so I smacked him over the head.

"What'd you do that for?" he asked, massaging his head where I hit him.

"Stop laughing and tell me what you think?" I said irritated.

"What do you want me to think?" he asked. "They are just letters."

"Yeah, but I don't know who they're from!"

"And you poured your heart to someone you don't know?" asked Remus raising an eyebrow.

"Talking about my ex-girlfriends is pouring my heart out?"

"You talked about your mother?"

"Who doesn't know I hate her?"

"You got me," said Remus sitting at the end of the bed. "Well, I seriously don't know what to tell you, Padfoot."

"Well, of course you don't know what to tell me! I haven't even told you the problem!" I said matter-of-factly.

"Besides the fact that you don't know her?" I nodded my head. "Spill it man, this is good gossip!"

I glared at him before getting up from the bed and pacing around the room. "Well… it's been a couple of weeks now… and well, she's funny… and I feel like she's the only female that has gotten close to understanding me… and well…"

"Spit it out, Padfoot!"

"I think I lo– _like _her" I said, letting the words slowly sink into Remus' mind.

Remus just stared at me.

"Remus?"

He just kept staring. I was feeling very small at the moment... And very stupid too. I mean, I almost said I loved her. That is not possible. Like… yeah. Love? No way…

I was about to smack Remus again when he busted out laughing. After, five years of friendship I can safely say I'm used to this type of reaction.

"You… in love… Sirius… do you… realize… it's you!" he said between breaths, pointing at me and falling back on the bed laughing his ass off.

"Snap out of it mate," I said very annoyed.

"You… in… love," he said. I was seriously thinking of having a meeting to reassign the head of department.

"I said like not love," I said through gritted teeth. "What can I do?"

"Tell her," I stared incredulously at Remus for five minutes.

"Are out your mind?" I said. "The first thing she's going to do is laugh like you just did. And second, she's going to think I'm a freak!"

"Well, you _are_ Sirius Black," Remus kindly pointed out. I glared at him.

"She doesn't know who I am," I replied.

"Then she's dumb."

"Does it show it's me by the letters?"

"It's pretty obvious."

I groaned and threw myself on the bed.

"When are you going to reply?" Remus asked taking her latest letter in his hands.

"As soon as you leave."

"Are you going to tell her?"

I sighed and thought for a long moment. "No," I said firmly. "I can honestly say, Remus, that in this occasion you have been no help, whatsoever."

Remus snorted. "Whatever," he muttered walking out of the room.

I took the letter and read it again, thinking of what to say. Could she really think it was me?

_I honestly don't know what to say about your relationship with your mother. Mainly so because I have actually not been in such situation. If there was ever a situation that was not right that I had with a relative, then it would be with my sister (the one I told you about). Why? Because everyone thinks my sister is just the best. Best in school, best in looks, best in everything! I feel really inferior when compared to her, but I don't try to let that get to me... Okay, I'm dishonest there. Actually, I try to do my best when in comes to school marks. Thankfully, I'm doing pretty well in there._

_So you really want to know what a girl like me thinks of girls who throw themselves to any good-looking guy? Fine, I'll tell you but I warn you, I tend to be really harsh. I find them quite pathetic, really. I mean, they are practically adoring these males as if they where some god or something. Okay, now onto those males. Some are humble with their looks (hard to find one though), while others are quite... well, pathetic too. Oh sure, they use what they have but really, they shouldn't. But eh... who am I to say? _

_You and commitment don't get along? I don't know why but a certain name pops up. Oh no, it isn't you because I don't know you. Anyway, you don't see yourself marrying at a young age, huh? Mainly so because you don't want to confuse love with a very deep crush? You know what, you are one complicated person! Just admit it; you are afraid of touching such territories!_

_So I should get a detention? What's so fun about that? You said so yourself those teachers just give you lots to write about, and that's that. Nope, that does not sound fun at all. Can I make fun of you though? Why? Because that would actually be fun! Ha!_

_So you think it's impossible for a girl to forget about a guy? How can you say something like that when you aren't a girl in the first place! Besides, if it was true then why hasn't any of your ex-girlfriends come to you? Hmmm? Yes, it's possible. Mainly so when a guy hurts a girl. I'm sure you wouldn't understand that, but no one is to blame! Remember that friend I told you about? Yeah, him. Well, I surprisingly found out that he's been going out with a girl for some time. Some Ravenclaw named Alicia. Now here's something I don't understand, why would he bother leaving little hints that he liked me when he was interested in some other girl? Really, guys I don't understand. _

_I'm sure you attended the Halloween feast, how was it for you? Good? Yeah, well, I hope it was way better then mine. Why? Because that's when I found about him dating this girl. But enough about this, because I wouldn't like to burden you with my problems. Haha..._

_So you think you are smarter than me? Oh, you are lucky to say something like that, considering that we are corresponding through letters! But you know what, I'm going to let this one slide. Because I'm pretty sure I could have outsmarted you one way or another. Don't believe me? Oh you'll see... well... not really 'see' but eh... oh never mind._

Well, if she figures out who I am. I won't care. I wrote my reply faster than I thought I would.

"Done?" said Remus, as I walked out of McGonagall's classroom twenty minutes later. He went with me, talking more crap than actually helping me on our way there.

"Yeah," I said, as we started walking back to Gryffindor Tower. "So, how are you and Crystal?"

"Good," he said. "Are you going to romance Isabelle?"

"Who's Isabelle?" I asked, and then I remembered. "The ugly Hufflepuff witch? Are you crazy? I might as well begin wearing glasses and hanging out in the library searching for books that will help me pass!"

"She's not ugly, but she is in her sister's shadow," said Remus, trying to defend her.

"What d'you mean by that?" I asked, I felt like there was something familiar in his words.

"Her sister is beautiful… people, still talk about her," replied Remus. "I actually think the only reason Isabelle doesn't really take care of herself is because she's afraid she'll look like her sister, or even more beautiful. And people might pay attention to her for that rather than her just being herself."

"Remus," I said chuckling. "Keep on like that and you'll become Hogwarts headmaster when Dumbledore retires."

"Very funny, Padfoot," said Remus sardonically. "Very funny."

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**A/N:** Thanks for the reviews and I hope you enjoyed this chapter... lory 


	7. Slide Away

**Chapter Seven**

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In the past couple of weeks I would normally wait to be one of the last to leave the class mainly so whenever I wanted to leave the letter. I also needed to invent (by that time) something whenever Crystal wanted to wait for me because, as you can tell I did not want her to know exactly what I was doing.

I say that because as of recently she is always one of the first students to leave the classroom; which of course raises some questions as to the reason why she does that. Come to think about it the reason can't be that hard to figure out. Considering the fact that she always seem to bring up Remus's name into some part of our conversation. The strangest part though is that she _won't_ admit nothing to the kind of relationship she has with him. All of this is fine by me because it takes her away from what I am doing. Just now did she left, amongst other students, leaving me behind but as I said before I did not mind.

Since I had an essay to write for my Potion's class I knew it would be best to do so in the library. Of course that wasn't one of the reasons why I was going for the library and not the common room. It's obvious though, the common room was not necessarily known for its quietness as the library was. So with the materials I needed for the essay as well as with the letter, I made my way for the library.

_Don't worry… just don't mention my mother. _

_I would've been very disappointed if you tried to act like your sister. Just be yourself. I bet you're probably better than your sister anyway; you just don't want to admit it._

_By all means, be harsh in whatever you like… I find it pathetic too, but hey I'm a guy. If a girl throws herself at me, what am I supposed to do? Brush her off? It's not in my nature, darling. I'm humble… Stop right there young lady! It's not our fault girls think of us as gods! It's just a vicious circle._

_Commitment and I don't get along. It's like oil and water. However, I can tell you about a guy who won't get committed unless it's with the girl he's been after for like four or five years... a little pathetic actually. If you knew who I was you'd be like "I'm so talking about, you!" But, I'm not getting into that topic… Actually, knowing myself, I think I'll probably get married right out school. I seem to have a contract with doing the unexpected… I know I am a very complicated person, but, who cares? Actually, I don't think I understand myself sometimes. I mean, I think I might actually like someone, but at the same time that is just too weird. I just contacted the head of the What-The-Hell-Is-Happening-To-Me Department, and I can assure you he was no use. He told me to tell the girl I like her… that is a scary thought. I am NOT afraid of commitment; I just don't want to touch such territories… They are very dangerous…_

_No, you should not get a detention. You should get a couple of detentions. They have a variety of detentions, but they have the worst ones reserved especially for me. No, you cannot, under any circumstance make fun of me… that is my friends volunteer job. I get sufficiently mocked by them, thanks for the offer._

_I can say stuff like that 'cause I have dated enough girls to know a little about how their minds work. (I doubt a man will ever live long enough to get to the point where they actually do understand the female mind completely. If a man says he knows how your minds work, he's lying.) Girls crawl back, alright, and then there is that magnificent thing called IGNORING. Yeah, it's good. Girls never get hurt in a fling they know is a fling! They just like the drama! I mean, you should've seen my ex-girlfriend bawling her eyes out one day and the next she was with another guy. That's how the brain of an actively dating girl works. You need to get out more, sweetheart._

_Some Ravenclaw named Alicia? Well, look at the irony of life… she's the ex-girlfriend I was telling you about in the last paragraph. So, that idiot is the one you like? I bet you can steal it from her… I would help you (indirectly) but it would cost me a hundred and fifty galleons so, sorry. I got a clue for you on why he's with the girl (I'm being nice…) he's trying to make you jealous, use that to your advantage._

_I actually didn't go to the Halloween feast. I went to Hogsmeade, but shh! Don't tell anyone or I'll be in trouble._

_You can burden me with your problems, is nice having someone I can make fun of through a letter. _

_Darling, I'm one of the top students in our year… you don't want to challenge me. Ha! I'd love to see you try and outsmart me… I'll give you a hint on how to outsmart me… Give up!_

As I finished reading the letter, I couldn't help but wonder a particular part of it. How much it sounded like something or should I say about _someone_ but it was just a coincidence. It _had _to be. I stopped with that trail of thought for I was getting way ahead of myself. Pulling out a parchment and my quill, I began to write a reply.

"You are never hard to find, you know."

I quickly folded the letter in half by the time that Alice, who I wasn't obviously expecting, dropped by.

Propping herself and her books in the empty spot in front of me, she said "Better think of somewhere else if you don't want to be so predictable."

"I'm not that predictable." I stated, folding the already folded letter even if I didn't properly finished it like it should be.

"Its nothing to be ashamed of," she said with that smile of hers, "we just know you won't do anything crazy."

I just stared at her. In other words, by what she's been telling me is that I shouldn't take it so personally. I shook my head, concentrating in the folding. "At least you guys will know what to get me for my birthday or Christmas."

"That's the spirit."

A minute or two of silence and I knew I had to leave to place the letter in its usual place but before doing that I had a question that's been gnawing in my brain.

"Who was the last girl that Sirius broke up with?"

"Why do you ask?" she asked, looking straight at me.

I shrugged, "just curious."

"Alicia"

"The same girl Dale's with?" I asked, my heart beating quicker than it should. Her answer would quickly determined who my secret pen-pal is which I wasn't exactly so sure if I wanted to know…

"Yeah… why?"

"I...I heard Crystal briefly mentioning about it…" I lied, "You know, I have to go and do something."

Without saying anything else I quickly picked up my stuff and left with only a simple 'bye'.

Making my way to the classroom was quite an easy task, mainly so because I did it in a hurry, which there was no reason for. The classroom was unlocked and empty, so being in a hurry was good in that aspect. It was after leaving the class that I slowed down, slowed down because as I said there was no reason to be in a hurry. Well, to be honest being in a hurry to do something kept me from thinking of anything else. Now that I left Professor McGonagall's classroom my mind couldn't be stopped with all the thinking that was going on.

Could it be that I've been corresponding to Sirius himself? What where the chances that Alicia he had once dated is now with Dale? Sure both of them are in the same House but, couldn't it be that there are more Alicia's in that household? Does he even know it's me?

That question was the one that calmed me down. He didn't know who I was. I did not give any hint _who_ I am. I am not well-known to be well… known so he couldn't possibly know. The only thing I would need to do is just watch what I say or should I say write.

Yes, that was enough to calm my mind

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I was pacing around the dorm with the letter firmly in my hand. Remus was watching me with an amused expression as I stopped halfway, looked at the letter, and started pacing again.

"You're going to make a hole in the floor, you know that?" he said smiling at his own joke.

"Yeah, well, we're wizards, we'll fix it," I replied looking at the letter again.

"I told you not to be so obvious," he said matter-of-factly.

"You _told?_ You _told_ me?" I asked incredulously. "The closest you came to telling me was saying that it was pretty obvious it was me."

"Well, I thought that would sum it up quite well," he said shrugging.

"_Sum_ it up? Remus stop speaking in riddles!"

"When did I speak in riddles?" he said frowning.

"Well if you had been a little bit more direct with me I probably would've made something up so that she didn't think it was actually me!"

"You know, you might be overreacting… she doesn't necessarily might think it's you."

"Remus, I told her my ex-girlfriend is dating the guy she likes," I said. "Don't you think that might give it away?"

Remus frowned. Then a smile formed on his lips. And then he was full on laughing.

"What's so funny?" I asked.

He put a hand up as if to say 'give me a break' and continued laughing.

"_What?_" I asked annoyed.

He stopped laughing almost immediately. "Well, Sirius, you're not exactly the _only _guy she's dated, you know."

"I _know_ that!" I said, I wasn't exactly in the mood to discuss the fact that I hook up with sluts. "But that's not the only thing that might give it away, Remus, you know?"

"Well, I would know if you'd let me read the letter," he said indignantly.

"No, I'm not going to let you read the letter," I said, he opened his mouth to protest but I spoke before he could. "I'm going to read it and point out the highlights of the letter, shall I?"

He shrugged as I started reading the letter.

_I don't know about you but having an older sister who just happened to be the apple in your parents' eyes isn't so comforting. I just make the best by it by exceeding what I'm pretty sure my sister wasn't able to do while in her school years here in Hogwarts. _

"In this part of the letter, she starts off light… giving no hint at all that she knows who I am… you know casual… like all our previous letters…" I could see Remus' facial expression as one of holding in laughter but ignored him and continued reading the letter.

_I do not know many people who are afraid of commitment but a particular name pops into my mind and I don't even know that person personally. _

"Ah yes… this might be the part where she turns into a sarcastic little–"

"Continue reading please…" said Remus.

_So I suppose you aren't the only one who's afraid of it. I have to comment here though that the person who also shares your phobia also happens to be considered, by the majority of girls, to be quite handsome. _

"She even commits the atrocity of complimenting you before mocking you?" said Remus smiling. "I think I'm in love."

I glared at him and continued reading.

_Perhaps you two know each other. I'm pretty sure you do, his name happens to be **Sirius Black**. _

"You know Sirius, you might be overreacting…" I said mocking Remus. "Blah… blah… blah… Remus, at this point I think it's pretty obvious she's making fun of me…"

_So you like a girl but you feel weird about it? Well, that is quite interesting to hear from you considering that you have written that you did not have a problem expressing yourself to any girl for that matter. Why should it be scary? Is it the thought that she might not be interested in you or is it that she's just out of your league? (though strangely that's hard to believe). This is quite a conundrum that's for sure. Better yet, who is she? You know I won't tell… haha._

"No she's not out of my league! There is just that little fact that I have NO IDEA who she is!"

_I find it interesting that Alicia also happened to be the girl you once dated. So there is indeed a way to find out who you are! Well, of course I won't go and ask her who was her last boyfriend… I think I won't have the nerve in asking…_

"Well, at least you know she's not brave enough to ask Alicia if she dated you," said Remus, he's so wise.

_As for Dale, well, I really don't like him... like him. I was just feeling… I don't know… I don't want to say that I wanted someone (well, that didn't sound proper), just wanted to feel that well… I won't even finish that sentence because I'm sounding pretty much… sentimental._

"Sentimental, huh?" said Remus before he busted out laughing.

Ten minutes later when Remus had finally composed himself he asked the stupidest question he could ever come up with… "So… what are you going to do about it?"

It was one of those moments when you are not sure whether you should beat up the person or simply kill it and get it over with.

"You are such a genius," I said sarcastically. "Why do you think I've been wasting my time telling you about this?"

His mouth formed an 'o' before he shrugged. "Well, I don't know what to tell you, mate."

"Yeah, I figured that much," I said falling back on my bed. "Well, I have two options. One: I could tell her it's me and commit social suicide–"

I was interrupted by Remus' burst of laughter. "_Social suicide_? Who talks like that?"

"Shut up, Remus," I said. "And option two would be to figure out who she is while I pretend to be someone else who is in my year, is a playboy, and has the same girls I mentioned–"

I broke off as I realized who that person was and how it would be believable if the person was in on the plan.

"James," we whispered in unison.

* * *

**A/N: **Hope you enjoyed this chapter. Thank you so much for the reviews... i love reviews... thay make me happy... happiness makes me update faster... ok... im going to shut up now... 


	8. Some Might Say

**Chapter Eight**

**

* * *

**  
I don't know how many people enjoy being proved wrong –not that many- but I couldn't help but feel relieved to know that the person who I was corresponding with wasn't the person who I thought it would be.

I found it quite silly that I reacted the way I did when I left the letter two days ago in the same location as before. Yet, at the same time my interest was beginning to bud and I wasn't exactly sure if I wanted for it to be more that just that: an interest. By that I mean that I wasn't exactly sure if I still wanted to find out who this secret pen pal of mine is.

I had decided to stay behind after dinner in the Great Hall, where only half a percent of the student population did their homework. Crystal and Alice had left, knowing that, if they were to ask, I wouldn't have accepted their invitation to stroll around the school grounds.

I pulled out the letter from my book bag, eyeing the folded piece as I turned away from the Great Hall's entrance. Though I had already read it, I couldn't help but feel the need to reread it once more.

_Well, I do have a younger brother, and cousins, and house-elves who just happen to be the apples of my parents' eyes... so don't feel too bad. And, I'm not getting into a novel description of that, so, don't ask_

_Anyway, only one particular person pops into your mind when mentioning "fear _

_of commitment"? And you don't know him? My, it sounds as though you have a crush on that particular guy... Of course, I'm not the only guy with commitment issues... Every guy my age is afraid of having their name in the same sentence as 'commitment'... it is one scary thought._

_Your guy is considered handsome by the majority of the girls? Why, I'm a handsome guy... Sirius Black? You have a crush on Sirius Black? Bloody hell... I don't know whether I should feel sorry or laugh hysterically. I mean, no offense, but having a crush on him is pretty intense. And that is also not very good for his ego. I should know... I have to share a room with him every day..._

_Okay, my love life would be interesting if I had actually liked **liked** the girls I dated. But I really don't need to impress the girls I usually go out with considering the size of their brains... I don't have much trouble expressing myself to dim-witted... girls... But this girl... she's special. I mean, she's actually smart! And she's definitely not out of my league, she's just not what I'm used to dating (see above). It's scary because I don't know if I want to date her. Or if I just want the thrill of the chase._

_Love, Alicia was the last girl I dated, the girl my roommates dated, the girl Hufflepuff guys dated, the girl Ravenclaw guys dated, the girl Slytherin guys dated. And I am most definitely NOT the last guy she dated... believe me, she's been around... _

_Anyway, I got to go now... _

Not only did it calm me down (concerning the identity of the secret writer), but I couldn't help but notice something different. Perhaps it had to deal with the fact that he was sounding more like a flamboyant individual with the way he writes.

As I pulled out a parchment and a quill, I noticed that there were only about six people (including myself) left in the Great Hall though most of them where easily busy with whatever they where doing. I suppose today wasn't exactly the quota that makes the percent.

Just as I was placing the letter and my reply to it back into my book bag, someone I least expected decided to stop by.

"Crystal and Alice told me you where here." he said casually, as he sat across from me.

It has been nearly two weeks that I've been avoiding him so I can pretty much say that I was nervous if not abashed by his presence. "Yeah, I've been busy lately…"

"How've you been?"

Not only had I blatantly been avoiding him but he was nice enough to ask about my well-being. Yeah, that's a great beginning for a soon-to-be guilt trip.

"Good," I replied, replacing my book bag in the spot it once was on. "Yourself?"

"Same."

Silence, something that everyone knows can be quite awkward.

"I wanted to say that I didn't mean to..." It was apparent that he was the one feeling awkward, "I'll be honest, Belle…"

He followed to tell me what has been happening to him in the last couple of weeks. How he did have a crush on me but I didn't respond to him as he would have wanted.

As for Alicia, "it just happened", he told me. Since he has opened to me it was only the right thing that I do the same for him, giving him the reason why I was acting the way I was towards him. In the end there was still that awkwardness between us.

"We're still friends…?" He asked, finally interrupting that silence between us.

I smiled, "Of course."

He smiled. Up to now did I notice he has quite a smile.

"I have to go and leave something for someone," I said as I stood up, picking up my book bag along with me, "I'll see you around."

* * *

"She believed you?" asked Remus incredulously. "She actually believed that poorly written _thing_ you called a letter?" 

We had been through that same question approximately twenty seven times now but Remus was still in denial.

"Yes, Remus," I repeated with absolutely no emotion in my voice. "She believed the _thing_."

"Please read that letter again," he said, sounding quite hopeful that he heard wrong. "I refuse to believe she is that stupid."

_Whoever said I had a crush on the guy who's afraid of commitment? I was merely pointing it out. Besides if I were to have a crush on said guy, you wouldn't exactly know the reason. Sure, you can pretty much guess but us girls (well, the most of) aren't exactly interested in getting into our crushes pants. I'm pretty sure that when it comes to you guys you tend to follow such mind track, but then again… I could be wrong. _

"And I refuse to believe that teenage girls do not think about getting into their crushes pants," I said. "See? There is something for everyone."

Remus scowled.

_I suppose guys and girls aren't so easy to figure out except though that some guys are more easily readable than girls. Mainly for the fact that guys are well… hormonal and so yeah… perhaps that's why your kind (for a lack of a better word) tend to just not appreciate such commitment. So I suppose in the end the human race isn't so easily readable. _

"Why is she contradicting herself?" I asked aloud.

"Keep. Reading." said Remus almost painfully.

_So now you've given me a clue as to who you are, well, a very vague one concerning your physical characteristic. _

"Why… I'm a handsome guy…" mocked Remus. "That has seriously got to be the worst ego booster in history.

I glared at Remus before proceeding.

_I should just add that to the list or better yet just poll the girls as to whom they find attractive. Whoever said I had a crush on Sirius Black? I merely mentioned his name but well… I suppose there's a tiny grain of truth with me mentioning his name. Yeah, I find it silly -if not ridiculous- that I "might" be crushing on the guy half of the girls in this school would like to be connected with. Its only looks though, for all I know he might be the most boring bloke a girl could know, unless he has something that will keep her there. You also happen to be sharing a room with him? Oh, look it here… you just gave me another clue… You aren't doing that on purpose, are you? _

"Of course I am… you're supposed to think I'm James," I said matter-of-factly.

_Liking a girl because she's different from the others you have dated isn't such a bad thing. Just get to know her (if you don't already) and go from there. _

"Easier said than done," I said as Remus rolled his eyes.

_Now if you aren't exactly so sure if it's the thrill or because you are genuinely interested in her, then just don't do either. Mainly so because you won't be wasting your time and you won't be breaking any more hearts. Come to think about it you never did tell me who this special girl is that is causing your dear head to worry about, do tell!_

"Darling, it's you. It's obvious. Why do you torment yourself by believing lies? Why must you be as dim-witted as every other girl this guy has liked?"

"Are you and Crystal still together?" I asked Remus after he finished his rant.

"Yeah, why?"

"Because you sound like you need some mate," I told him.

"Of course I sound like I need some… I haven't gotten any."

It was one of those moments when confusion blanks out your brain and you don't know whether the correct reaction would be to laugh or to cry.

"Our relationship is not like yours are, Sirius," he said pointedly.

"Remus, you really don't want me to reply to that."

"I know. Keep reading."

_I suppose I should thank you for giving me such information about Alicia. That was an unexpected way in telling me so._

"I told her I dated a whore. I told her I like someone. And now I'm pretending I'm someone else."

"And that's a good thing, is it, Sirius?" asked Remus innocently.

"Well… no… considering his dating history. Don't you dare say anything about mine" I warned, he raised his hands as in no-comment. "But I do not need my reputation tarnished by my correspondence with some chick."

"Why are you suddenly using words with more than two syllables?" asked Remus. "Oh, god." He started laughing uncontrollably.

"What?" I asked, visibly irritated.

"You really like this girl don't you?"

"Ladies and gentlemen… a round of applause for Remus Lupin please, as he has, in a record time of three weeks, realized that I actually meant it when I said I liked her."

"You like someone?" asked James, strolling into the room with a half eaten apple in his hand.

"Are you going to tell him or should I?" said Remus. I could only groan.

* * *

A/N: I have no words to describe how shocked I was this morning when I realized how long it had been since I last updated, considering, it felt like just yesterday I got like ten reviews and was so happy about it. Apparently I got a little too happy. But here it is, so, sorry about the delay. 


	9. Somebody Told Me

**Chapter Nine**

**

* * *

** "Are you going to tell me or not?" Crystal asked; her footsteps ceasing to follow after my own. "Is that the reason why you're always staying behind?"

This wasn't exactly the way I wanted to reveal what I was doing to one of my closest friend but it has happened and I knew there was no way of scurrying around with this one.

It was only a couple of minutes ago when she had caught me off guard with the letter in hand. Not only was I surprise seeing her return to the classroom but she knew the letter I had was not just a scrap paper that I would have claimed for it to be but something important "I can tell," she had said. Now how did she ever came up to that conclusion? Oh by the fact that I was about to _read _it which was a stupid thing to do. This was also a perfect time for _her _to ask the one question I wasn't even looking forward to answering by then.

I turned to face her while my mind was quickly at work in finding the way not to reveal what has been happening in the recent weeks. Now that wasn't going to be easy…

"Aren't you supposed to meet with Remus somewhere?" I asked hoping that'll delay for a minute or so.

"He'll be coming and stop trying to change the subject!"

"I was just cur--"

"Isabelle…"

"Alright, yes and yes then." I admitted, there was no way to get around this girl or she was just being stubborn in either case the end would be the same.

"Well then, do tell." she stated, closing the gap between us. If anyone was to cross by they would just see two girls who where more likely exchanging a secret if not gossip.

"But first," I raised the folded letter between us, "I have to read it first since you just happened to have dropped by when I was about to."

Crystal theatrically bowed before me as she stepped away obviously giving me the space I had asked. I then opened the letter.

_I refuse to believe that you are not a hormonal teenager who has had several dozen dreams about the guy you're crushing on. I refuse to believe. Darling, we're specifically made to torment all teenagers… You are lying._

_I do, however, completely agree with you when you say that guys are easily readable. Girls, on the other hand are not, under any circumstance,e easily readable. Girls don't even understand each other… I think that what's so appealing about girls. Guys are highly amused by the way girls can't make up their mind about stuff, and the way they plot revenge against cheating boyfriends, how they dream of scenarios depicting several different morbid ways in which a person they hate dies. Well, at least it is what would attract me the most in a person if ever I were to hit my head and suddenly feel the urge to enter into a committed relationship._

_Have you ever thought about the possibility that I am dead scared of you finding out who I am? So, in other words, yes I might be feeding you false information as to who I am… but not to worry… all things come to an end and eventually I'll reveal my true identity as for now… you will just have to keep on guessing._

_I'm going to give you some advice. You are the one that needs to decide if having a crush on a character like Sirius Black is a good thing or a bad thing. Don't let yourself be eaten up with denial. Just go out there and befriend him…who knows… he might actually end up liking you. About my girl, for now, I'm not really going to do much about it. I'm just going to let things 'unfold'. Anyway… I'll talk to you later.'_

I bit my lower lip as I folded the letter as it once was, knowing well that this was the moment I've been dreading. Crystal would be in the know and from what I've read she'll know that this correspondence hasn't been going on for only a couple of days.

"May I?" she asked, stepping right up to my side once more.

I handed over the folded letter with an audible sigh.

Though it was not a long letter, it felt like forever which made me nervous but of course I must be getting paranoid. I guess the only thing I should be thankful was that we where in an empty hall and there was no one likely to hear what was being talked about. Of course that didn't help at all, just by looking at Crystal amused expression as she read I could just imagine the drill I will be getting concerning about it.

"Of all the things that I've expected…" she said with a coy smile as she folded the letter, "this was quite unexpected."

"What did you expect?" I asked, taking the letter back.

She shrugged, "It doesn't matter, but from what I read you two must have been doing this for quite a while, right?"

I placed the letter into my book bag without looking at her I replied "I guess you can say that."

"So I will like to know every little detail, perhaps I know the guy."

I raised an eyebrow at this, "Whoever said I was going to tell you everything?"

"Are you serious?" she exclaimed, "You let me read the letter and expect me to just say 'Oh, that's interesting' and just go on my merry way?"

I smiled, "It isn't that bad." I answered as I noticed that someone familiar had rounded the corner and was walking towards us. "As a matter of fact I will have to tell you some other time because it appears you'll have company."

She turned around but before she could say anything, I took her arm for that was the only way I could catch her attention once again. "Promise me you won't mention this letter to no one else, okay?"

"Not even Alice?" she asked, her curiosity peaked once more that I didn't want our other good friend to know about this.

"I'll tell her myself, just don't."

She smiled, "Don't worry, my mouth is sealed." motioning a finger across her lips.

"I best be going, I'll see you later." I told her just before Remus reached us.

Though I didn't explained to her about this correspondence I was ready to do so, but I would not be telling her everything.

* * *

James. James. James. James. James. James. _James!_ Couldn't he have picked a better moment to enter the room munching on that god forsaken apple? Now I was subjected to ridicule by my two best friends… sorry, did I say two? I meant three… you see, James cannot seem to be able to SHUT HIS PIEHOLE! Why? Because Remus hadn't well finished telling the story when James, roaring with laughter, ran out of the room to tell Peter before either of us could stop him. 

"Read the letter Sirius, c'mon!" that would be Peter. Now why in the hell can't I get better friends than this? Why must I be tortured this way?

"Do I really need to read it in front of everyone?" I replied. I mean, I should be entitled to a little bit of privacy… right?

"Sirius, you _like_ a girl, that is a story to share," said James. "And by the way you're not making her believe it's me right?"

"No father James, I am not," I said irritated. "If I remember correctly your exact words on the subject were: _Sirius Black, you will absolutely NOT make this girl believe you're me and jeopardize my relationship with Lily…_"

"To which, if I remember correctly, Sirius, you replied: _Relationship with Lily, huh? Let's outline James' relationships shall we? Relationship with Remus: father confessor. Relationship with Peter: small sidekick. Relationship with Sirius: prank buddy. Relationship with Lily… nonexistent…" _said Remus, smiling at the memory.

"Yeah," said James scowling. "It's still a no, though."

"Brat," I said under my breath. "Anyway… let's read. Well, I'll read you listen… whatever.

_Just because we're teenagers that does not mean we have to be as hormonal as guys are. _

"She is such a liar…" said Remus. "I should know…"

James, Peter and I looked at each other before roaring with laughter.

"Just because we don't do anything doesn't mean–" Remus started to say through gritted teeth, but suddenly shut up and turned beet red.

I looked at him with a raised eyebrow. "Anyway…"

_Us, girls, have our own ways though some tend to express it more. So we agree that guys and girls are from different planets that enjoy getting into wars once in a while and end it with the casual celebration of the sexes. _

"I wish I had a comment for that," said James. "Sadly, I can only laugh on the inside.

_Out of curiosity, have you told anyone concerning this correspondence we have with one another? I can say that I have, though not in the way it would normally happen. _

"Well, I can say that I admit that my telling was a complete and total mistake…" I said, glaring at the guys.

"You can add it to the list of things you wish you'd never said. It would be number 739," said Peter smiling like an idiot.

"Thanks, Worm," I said purposely omitting the rest of the nickname.

_I find your comment interesting, the one concerning about your identity. Why should you even be "scared" as you stated it? If that question where to have been directed to me, I would have replied that I would be nervous meeting the person for the first time but that's only natural. So I'm being fed with false information, hopefully it isn't in such a great scale that it'll change everything. _

"No one is going to make a comment concerning that particular paragraph… are we clear?"

Remus raised his arms defensively. Peter shrugged. And, James simply smiled.

"James." I said sternly.

"Okay, daddy, I will keep my mouth shut," he said.

"Thank you."

_I don't know about getting to know Sirius. Sure, he's appealing, interesting and whatnot but approachable? Well, he's too… **outgoing** for my taste, yet… that's appealing which I know I'm contradicting myself. I just don't know. Besides, he's always around someone or vice versa and it's a rarity to find him alone. If it where Remus, well, that would have been a different story. He's adorable and appears to be an easy going individual and if it weren't that he's with a girl, perhaps my situation would be different. Alas, such life I live, heh. _

"So, she likes Remus too, huh?" said Peter, we all threw a pillow at him. "I was just stating the obvious…"

"She thinks you're outgoing mate," said Remus. "That should be good, I think."

"She is also being fed false information because Sirius will wet his 'jammies if she finds out who he is…" said James in a fake baby voice.

Remus and Peter could only laugh and point as I tackled James.


	10. Read My Mind

**Chapter Ten**

----------------------------

Our Transfiguration homework wasn't due for another three days, but Crystal thought it would be best if we caught up with it before that day arrived. Surprisingly enough, she had invited Remus to join us. It wasn't necessary to have a study group, considering this was an essay but she thought so, after all, having someone as smart as Remus wouldn't hurt either. 

We were seated at the farthest corner of the library where it was unlikely that anyone would bother us. Crystal, who was seated across from me, was concentrating with her reading; that was something I should be doing myself but there was something else that needed my attention.

Unfolding the letter, I read its contents.

_I still refuse to believe that you are not a hormonal teenager. Sorry, but… you are, I know you are. You don't have to hide it. All teenagers are regardless of their gender._

_Well, I told the only one of my friends I knew would not laugh at me. Turns out he did laugh at me, which wasn't very encouraging. And, it's funny you ask this, because the same day you asked the same day one of my other friends walked into the dorm, eating an apple, at the same exact moment my other friend and I were discussing the letter. Then, apple eating friend found it amusing to the point were he ran out of the room to go tell my other friend. I have started to wonder what I got to lose if I get better friends than these._

_It's not exactly that I'm scared of meeting a person… I am actually more scared that you will turn out to be some old hag… or maybe even McGonagall pretending to be a student, and then she'll go and turn me in to Dumbledore and get yet another excuse to get me into detention… yeah I don't need that right now. I'm sorry you're being fed false information but I am pretty sure you'll freak out the moment you meet me. I can picture a faceless you stammering and being all in denial so yeah… no can do._

_Just do what you truly want to do… I'm pretty sure that surrounded or not by other people he wouldn't mid meeting you. Believe me, you are a girl, he won't mind meeting you. Oh honey, don't worry (I would to say this out loud and imitating my mother, but since I can't, just try and picture and old hag saying it), I am pretty sure you're not the only teenager with a difficult life._

"Another one?"

I looked up to see Crystal observing me before glancing at the letter I had. Her question was obvious.

Later that day when she found about my pen-pal, I had finally given her the details she had wanted to know. Of course this wasn't done willingly, but I did give her what she wanted to know, except for a few facts. Not only was she amused by the act I held before she found out but intrigue in the secret identity of my pen-pal. Since then she made me promise that I'll tell her whatever new fact comes my way. In other words, she wanted to read the letters.

"Just got it this morning," I told her, folding the letter as it once was. "Interested, aren't you?"

"Need you ask?" she asked with a grin, placing out her hand towards me.

I shook my head as I handed it over to her.

"So he has three good friend and a mother who he seems to have no respect for." Crystal stated a minute later after reading it.

I looked up from my parchment, raising an eyebrow at this statement.

"Those are clues but like you said," she said, folding the letter before handling it over to me, "they might not be true or they might be."

I placed the folder letter back into my schoolbag, "Find me a guy who doesn't have three good friends."

"Guys don't necessarily hang out with the same guys continuously, but I'm sure there's a way in finding out." she said.

"True, but the correspondence with this person is what makes it intriguing." I admitted.

"Aren't you even interested in finding out who this person might be?" She asked, "I mean, if it were me, I would be interested in meeting with the person whom I'm corresponding with."

"You know, Sirius also has been corresponding with a girl... I think he likes her, which is quite unbelievable."

We were involved in the conversation that we didn't even notice Remus had arrived. That isn't what worried me though; the words that he had just spoken where the most unexpected. _It must be a coincidence,_ I thought as I watched him sit on the empty chair beside Crystal's.

"What House is she in?" Crystal had asked.

I quickly turned to her, my mouth halfway open to intervene when Remus had suddenly responded.

"Oh, she's in Huffle–" he stopped abruptly; his eyes lingering on the book he just placed on the table a minute earlier.

I looked away from the two of them. I had to keep myself calm, I couldn't reveal and much less react to what was happening here.

It was at this moment that Crystal had realized what she had done. Quite the perfect time, if I say so myself. Casting me a worried glance, she quickly took reigns of the situation.

"Hufflepuff, huh?" she asked him; a nervous chuckle escaping from her.

Of all the things that Crystal was known as, an actress wasn't part of her description.

Remus looked at her with an expression that can only be identified as a mixture of wonderment and anxiousness. "It's you, isn't it?"

"I…uh…"

It was my turn to step in, "it's just a coincidence, Remus." I started, "There's lots of possibilities; it doesn't mean Crystal is the one… that Sirius is corresponding with."

He turned to me, the same look still on his face. "I…I… have to go."

Before anyone of us could protest, not that I knew a way of stopping him, he picked up his stuff and quickly walked away.

------------------------------------------------------------------------

"Sirius Horatio Black," James was yelling, as he entered the dormitory. "You won't believe what just happened."

"Stop using my middle name," I warned him. "And what happened that has you yelling it to the whole house?"

"Oh, come on, there are only like five people outside," he said defensively. I walked out of the dormitory to see, half of Gryffindor house staring up at the staircase.

"Revenge is going to be so sweet," I muttered to myself as I walked back into the dormitory. "What happened?"

"We just heard some girls talking about how boring you'd become," said Peter, and from what I could see he was very freaked out about that.

"I beg your pardon?" I said suddenly realizing what he had just said.

"The day has finally come mate," said James, looking amused. "Your popularity with girls is diminishing."

"Ha, haha, ha, funny," I said. "Hey... where's Remus?" I asked, suddenly noticing his absence.

"Oh, he's studying with his girlfriend," Peter was saying when Remus burst into the room, "or not."

Without saying a word Remus walked over to my trunk and flung it open. James, Peter, and I stared dumbfounded as he threw its contents, one by one, aside until he found the stack of letters. Without even looking at he ran out of the dormitory.

"What…" I started.

"… the heck is wrong with him?" James finished. Peter could only stare open mouthed at the mess Remus left on my side of the room.

"Dude, he's lost it," said James, I nodded as I made my way over to the mess. "I mean, he made a mess and _left it there_."

I busted out laughing. "I wonder why he took the letters though."

"Well, his girlfriend's in Hufflepuff," said Peter. "Maybe he wants to show them to her and see if she knows who the girl is."

James and I looked at each other. "Bloody hell," I muttered as James and I ran out of the dormitory to try and find Remus.

It took us all of ten minutes to find Remus. He was sitting in the middle of the room of requirement, which at the moment looked really _melancholic_.

"Uh… Remus?" I said, looking around the room. It looked, a _lot_ like the shrieking shack, to the point were there were marks on the walls, that looked quite similar to drying blood, but I wasn't exactly going to just ask him why.

"Hey, what's up guys?" he said, looking up with a smile on his face. A really _fake_ smile.

"Are you okay, Remus?" and that was not me.

"Yeah," said Remus, scanning the letter currently in his hand. "I am much better now."

"Care to explain?" again, I really do appreciate my life, and Remus was still looking like a serial killer.

"I thought you were corresponding with my girlfriend," was all he said.

I could've cried. I seriously thought he was going to kill me right there on the spot. That only lasted until I realized that he meant that I was actually not corresponding with his girlfriend.

"So, you know or you don't know who I'm corresponding with?" I asked.

"Oh, I know," he said and I suddenly felt really excited and very sick.

"So…" James said tentatively. "Who is it?"

"Oh, I am not telling you," he said now standing up. "Let's go back to the dormitory."

Before anyone could stop him he walked out of the room. James and I looked at each other.

"Why won't he tell me?" I whined at James.

He laughed, "Oh, Padfoot, I think he has spent a little too much time around us."

"What's that supposed to mean?"

"Means," he said making his way out of the room. "He is going to have a lot of fun with this one."

I groaned. "Why did I tell you thickheads about this…"

We walked into the dormitory to find Peter eating a sandwich, while Remus put my stuff back in the trunk.

"Did you get the new letter?" said Remus.

"No," I said. "Don't you think it's too early for her to have answered?"

"I told you to get the letter," he said. "And considering I _know_ who she is, I can tell you, mate, that she has replied."

"When did you tell me to get the letter?" I asked. "And when are you planning on telling me who she is?"

"I thought it was implied…" he replied. "Anyway, I'm not telling you."

"May I ask why, father?" I asked.

"Go get the letter," he answered lying back on his bed. James and Peter looked too amused at this little exchange.

"Fine," I growled.

Ten minutes later…

"REMUS LUPIN!" I yelled, entering the Common Room. By the time I got to the dormitory, he was cowering behind James.

"WHO THE BLOODY HELL DID YOU TELL I AM CORRESPONDING WITH SOMEONE?" I yelled at him. Peter, James, and Remus all took a step backwards.

"Why do you ask?" he said as calmly as he could.

_You know, I think we are a couple of steps closer of finding out who is who. I'm not going to explain why I have written that because I'm sure you know what I'm talking about. The funny thing is I'm not exactly ready. I thought I would have been when the time came but by the looks of it, I'm not. That also means that I will have to be careful with what I write but don't worry, nothing will be a lie…_

_Oh alright, I can't act as if nothing has happened. _

_I've heard from someone that I'm corresponding with Sirius Black himself. _

"How am supposed to deny it's me now?" I said a little bit more composed. "Do you have any idea what am I supposed to do now?"

I continued reading before he could answer.

_But it can only be a coincidence, right? I mean… well… come to think about it I can't really imagine him doing the whole "writing to a total stranger" thing. He doesn't look the type, pity, and he's such a good-looking bloke… I can imagine Remus or even Peter doing so, but well, the cards weren't handed that way._

_Oh no, that's not good…._

_The person who said it, looked quite calmed in doing so, I'll let you know. That is until he realized something. So… It just has to be a coincidence. _

_I'm sorry, I can't really write about anything else at the moment that doesn't involve me wondering if I'm writing to a Sirius Black._

_I promise, I'll be a-okay next time…_

"That's that," I said. "Hoepfully, you really enjoyed that letter, 'cause this is the last you'll hear from this subject."

I walked back out of the dormitory before they could stop me.

----------------------------------------------------

A/N: Sorry for the delay but school has oficially started and I'm a senior now... lots of responsabilities... lol... thanx for all the reviews by the way... made me a very happy person.


	11. Roll With It

**Chapter Eleven **

* * *

"You don't exactly expect me to be calmed about this, do you?" I voiced, dropping on my bed with a parchment in hand.

"Remus didn't even bring it up the last time we were together," I heard Crystal say.

I looked at the ceiling, my eyes tracing the cemented blocks on it. Though I wasn't exactly feeling so "uppity", I couldn't help but let a smirk show. "You know, that statement could be translated in so many ways…."

"Isabelle!"

I shrugged as I brought the parchment up to my face; it was neatly folded and it pretty much looked the same as the others. Except for a single thing, this wasn't exactly a letter per se.

"Merlin!" exclaimed Crystal, walking up to the bed. Was that a smile? "You've been very touchy feely as of lately and now you're suddenly making such comments?"

"Well, I'm _sorry_," I replied, finally sitting up to see her clearly. "It's just… I need a laugh, no big deal about it."

Crystal nodded, before sitting down on her bed that was located near my own. "Is that the letter?"

"No," I said, lifting the parchment for her to see. "It's nothing like the others."

"Can I read?" she asked.

"I'll read it to you alright?" Unfolding the parchment I read out loud.

_I thought the Sirius Black issue was already established?_

"Either he's not interested or irritated that I keep on mentioning him." I stated, throwing the parchment at the end of my bed.

"You sound disappointed," she whispered.

I avoided her stare, "Why should I be disappointed?"

"Because that sentence only means one thing but you might be taking it the other way."

Was I? Was I reading something that was not there? "He's not interested, that's all," I finally said.

"You know what?" I said before Crystal could say anything. "If he's not Sirius then why couldn't he write something else? Why just end it with that?" I asked, nodding toward the parchment.

"Um…"

I finally turned to look at her, raising an eyebrow at her hesitation. "What?"

"Are you secretly hoping it's _him_?"

"Sirius?" I asked, merely to myself. "No," I uttered.

Though I had voiced what Crystal wanted to hear, that word wasn't exactly what I meant. I wasn't exactly sure what I wanted for it to mean. Sure, I was disappointed that he didn't write more than that sentence. What if _he_ wrote that…?

"What if _it is_ really him?" I asked Crystal, an idea suddenly forming in my mind. Before she could open her mouth, I continued. "Maybe he's playing this off. Remus must know it or why would he suddenly run off like he did in the library?"

"What if Remus knows it's you?" she suddenly asked.

I closed my mouth, not realizing this. Back in the library, a day ago, he knew. Oh yes, he knew what was happening. No, I shouldn't say what was happening; he knows who the other person is. If he had thrown out the idea that it was Crystal then that only left me….

"Damn it!" I exclaimed, falling back on my bed.

"He knows it's not me because he didn't mention anything about it," she continued. "In fact, he seemed to be quite cheerful about something."

"So you're saying that the reason he's happy is because he knows something that Sirius doesn't?" I asked, only to answer my own question. "There are lots of possibilities for him to be happy. "

"Right…"

"It isn't a concrete fact that he knows, right?" I asked, staring up at the ceiling as Ihad before.

"I honestly don't know," she answered," she answered. "I won't even ask him because if that's what he thinks then I'll be proving him right and I'm sure you don't want that."

"What am I going to do now?"

"Just keep doing what you were doing the–"

"It's too much of a coincidence…" I trailed off. "If that note says otherwise then it is quite possible it is him."

"You have a point, an interesting point at that and I'm guessing by the look on your face that you have something brewing."

I smiled, oh no, it wasn't idea… yet. I was just recalling how this all came to be, all thanks to that piece of parchment I left behind.

* * *

"Sirius," said Remus. "You can't really just stop reading the letters to us just because I know something that you don't."

"He's right, you know," said Peter taking a bite out of an apple… I was beginning to hate the fruit.

"Or," started James, but one look at him told me what was coming.

"No, James," I said before he could utter another word. "I will not read it to just you and Peter. I won't read it to anyone."

"Oh, come on, mate," he complained. "You get us hooked on this nonsense then just like that you take it away."

"Just like that? Just like that?" I asked incredulously. "What the bloody hell are you on about?"

"Well–"

"It wasn't a question!" I said frustrated. "I never hooked you up on anything. I never even should have told you just for the simple fact that the more I listen to you idiots the more and more she's convinced it's me!"

"Then why did you ask for our advice?" said Peter.

"I didn't ask for your advice. You nosy bastards decided to give it. I merely asked for an opinion and that was Remus' 'cause on situations like these you two only know how to point and laugh!"

"That still doesn't justify the fact that you told him over your best mates," said James acidly.

"Oh, you're pathetic," I shot back. "First off, this is not your department. Second, I knew what your reaction would be and I was proved right–"

"Not to mention he went and told me," added Peter.

"Exact–"

"Oh, no, I wasn't defending you," he interjected. "I was merely trying to point out that you always think of me last and I always get you the best hook-ups… though considering your popularity lately I think that department might have lost its point."

Two seconds' ringing silence was followed by ten minutes of incessant laughter courtesy of James and Remus.

"Who knew you were so clever, Peter," said James clapping him in the back.

"Hilarious, too," I said sardonically.

"Read the letter and stop trying to make us waste our time, Sirius" said Remus.

"I'm not reading it to you," I said for like the fiftieth time.

"Yeah."

"Sure."

"Obviously."

"Fine," I said clearly irritated.

_I find it interesting you know that you're annoyed that I keep bringing up Sirius Black. You're right, we "sorta" have settled this fact but fine. Should I bring up one of his friends? I mean, you yourself said that you knew him well enough and that the two of you happened to share some familiar qualities. Well, that leaves me with James. Unless it's Peter… or Remus? Scratch James out, everyone knows he's after Lily. _

"So?" asked James.

"Doesn't mean he's crying his heart out," shrugged Peter.

"After Lily… not devoted to Lily," was my view.

"What an unfortunate waste of a comment that one," said Remus shaking his head.

_Wait a minute; perhaps you're no Gryffindor at all! Well, things keep getting interesting, that's for sure…_

"She's indirectly insulting you, mate," said James.

"What house do you think I'm in… Slytherin?"

_Now for something totally different… What's your favorite color? What's your favorite holiday? What's you favorite sweet? What do you see yourself doing five years from now? What exactly do you look for in a girl? What's the one thing you regretted doing in your life? What's the one thing you really want to accomplish in your life?_

"She's trying to find out if it's actually you," said Peter.

_Yes, I do expect you to answer those questions. If you have own questions feel free in asking them. I'm sure with these questions we're bound to get to know each other in a different level._

"I am so going along with her little game."

* * *

A/N: Senior Year... the best year of your life... blah blah blah... it seems to me it is all the work of 9th, 10th, and 11th grade combined... meh... your reviews made me happy at least so keep them coming and I hope you enjoyed 


	12. Mr Brightside

**Chapter Twelve**

* * *

Professor McGonagall had asked me to stay behind to help her sort some first year papers, which I did not mind at all, after all, I didn't have to be anywhere. This of course had led me to close the room afterwards, being that Professor McGonagall had a Professor's meeting.

It was after I had placed the parchments on McGonagall's desk that I quickly made my way back to that one desk. Sitting down on the empty seat, I quickly felt for the folded letter that I was sure was tapped underneath. Feeling the edge, I quickly took hold of it before opening it and reading what it said.

_Can you really blame me for being annoyed at the fact that you bring him up in every letter. I could pretend to be James but that would most likely guarantee my death. And by the way, just because he is infatuated with Lily (and keeps being rejected by her) doesn't mean he isn't looking for company elsewhere… I am a Gryffindor, please, you're insulting me._

_Now seriously, what would you do if I was Sirius? I think you want me to be him. You better answer this honestly._

_You know what? I am actually going to go along with your little game. I'm going to answer absolutely each and every one of those questions._

_Here you go:_

_My favorite color is blue (though I am really tempted to say black)._

_My favorite holiday is April Fool's, though I am not entirely sure it's a real holiday so I'll say Halloween._

_I don't have a favorite sweet… they are all beyond wonderful to my appetite._

_Five years from now I will most likely be in jail, but if I am not, then I am not entirely sure._

_What do I look for in a girl? That is a very interesting question actually…let's see… first and foremost, and definitely important… they got to be human…female, and have prove of that. Also, smart, funny, brunettes (though I can't seem to stop hooking up with blondes. That's kind of like the general. _

_I definitely regret telling my friends about you because it means that I will be subjected to mockery for the rest of my life._

_As of now, I have absolutely no goals in my life considering I have spent much of it just living the day rather than thinking of what might happen in the future. So, I dunno._

_Now that I answered all of your questions… how about I come up with my own that are by no means as superficial as these?_

_What do you look for in a guy? How many boyfriends have you had? What do you hate the most in guys? What special quality must your guy have? Have you ever had a crush on one of your friend's boyfriends? Would you ever consider cheating on a guy? What's the worst thing that has ever happened to you? Is there any person in this world that you absolutely hate?_

_I shall leave it there for now. Hopefully your answers will be very elaborate. Got to go now… talk to you later…_

I wasn't expecting to receive a somewhat, lengthy letter but I was quite surprised that he had stated that I was playing some game. A game that I haven't even thought of yet, so how would he know? Better yet, I did not know I how /I to answer half of these questions. There was only one person who could help me, unfortunately, I had no idea where she was.

Quickly folding the letter and placing it in my book bag, I then made my way out of the Transfiguration room and into the hall.

"Isabelle!"

I stopped and turned around to face down the hall, standing there was Alice who I had completely missed seeing. Feeling a bit flustered, I made my way toward her.

"Sorry, I didn't notice you."

"You aren't avoiding me on purpose, are you?" she asked.

I was taken-aback by her question, but I quickly shook my head. "Of course not, why would you think that?"

"For starters, you aren't around much and I can pretty much say that for Crystal." she said. She was holding a book in her arms, so I assumed she was either coming from a class or going to the Great Hall, which was right ahead if one kept walking down the hall.

"Crystal's been spending her time with Remus." I told her, adjusting the strap of my book bag.

"So, that explains her reason. What about yours?"

I wasn't exactly sure whether she was being serious by asking me that question or the way she had accused me of avoiding her. Normally, I would be able to tell by the way she was acting but by the look on her face she was being quite serious.

"I've been busy…" I started, looking down at my robes, adjusting whatever needed to be adjusted, in other words, to avoid looking at her.

"Boyfriend?"

I shot her a look, "Why would you ask that?"

With her free hand, she flipped back her dark brown hair. "You aren't normally involved into something that deeply that doesn't concerned about boy. Remember Patrick?"

How could I forget about him? He had been my first boyfriend when I was fifteen even though he was a year older. It was only natural for a girl to be quite attentive with her first love? Or well, what I had thought to have been my love. Unfortunately, he happened to be quite pushy in certain aspects of the relationship which had ended the relationship.

"Nice of you to remind me." I stated.

She grinned, "I'm just kidding with you."

I stared at her.

"You didn't actually believe I was angry at you, did you?"

I continued to stare at her.

"Uhhh…"

I smiled, before pinching her cheek. "Caught you, didn't I?"

She pushed aside my hand, "Big deal."

"Seriously, I've been busy with other things and since Crystal's spending the majority time of her waking life with Remus, I'm pretty much alone," I said, "but busy of course." I quickly added.

She nodded, "Don't worry."

"By the way, have you seen Crystal?"

She turned to look behind her, "Saw her walking with Remus down that hall. You might catch her before she disappears."

After thanking her, I quickly walked past her before breaking into a jog, after all, the length of the hall wasn't exactly a short walk.

I was quite in a hurry and assuming that no one was rounding the corner the same time as I did, I did not stop to notice the person until I had literally collided into him or her. Not only did the impact of colliding with someone caused me to step back nearly falling behind, but I had quickly regain my footing. Thankfully, I wasn't holding my books or they would have certainly scattered, I thought as I adjusted my robes before looking up to the person who I collided with.

"I'm-" I stopped, noticing that not only did I have the luck of bumping into a total stranger, but Sirius Black himself who happened to be staring at me in the most curious manner. Right beside him was James, who also appeared to be waiting for something. By their look, they must have regained their composure much quicker than I did and that was not good.

"Sorry," I quickly apologized before I made my way around James.

After putting a great distance from where I last stopped, forcefully, I had decided there was no use in searching for Crystal. I would do it on my own, because I was in no way prepared to talk about the literally crash encounter I had with Sirius Black.

* * *

"Teacher's pet, teacher's pets… are you blind or what, teacher's pet?" I sang under my breath making James laugh. We had been looking for Remus for the better part of the last hour with no success, and after the collision and the awkward effect it had we gave up altogether and went back to the Common Room.

It would actually be a couple of days before we got to talk to Remus at all outside a classroom.

"Someone's been spending a lot of time with a girl lately," I said to no one in particular.

"And considering the most you've got is a couple of anonymous letters we'll rule you out," said Peter absentmindedly.

"Thanks for the laugh, Pete," I said glaring at him.

"Dude, just 'cause you like this girl doesn't mean you can't hook up with someone else," said James putting his arm around me. "This is Hogwarts mate. It's a see of beautiful women… and you my friend, are one of their most sought after prays."

"Were," I heard Peter and Remus muttering under their breaths.

"Pete, are you up for the challenge?" asked James.

"I can get pretty girls alright," he answered. "I just don't know if any of them want to hook up with Sirius."

"Can we get back to my comment and forget this little conversation happened?" I snapped irritated.

"Fine," the all said.

"Remus… Remus… Remus," I said walking over to his bed and sitting next to him. "Remus."

James and Peter laughed as I put my arm around Remus.

"Yes, Sirius," he said, looking at me amused.

"You've been spending a lot of time with Crystal," I said tightening my grip. "So tell me–"

"What if I don't want to tell you?"

"I haven't even said anything yet."

"But I know what you are going to ask."

"Ahh… so you did?"

"I didn't say that."

"But you hinted that."

"I could be messing with you, lad."

"But you got to tell me."

"No I don't."

"But you do!"

"Why would I do such a ridiculous thing?"

"Just because…"

"Just because what?"

"Because I wanted to hook up with her!"

"Did you ever think of the possibility that she didn't want to hook up with you?"

"Why wouldn't she want to hook up with me?"

James and Peter tried desperately to choke down their laughter at this comment but gave about two seconds into the trial. Why? Because the love mocking me.

"I know you didn't just ask that, mate," said James laughing even more.

I rolled my eyes. "So… is she good?" I asked smiling.

"No."

My face fell. "No?" I asked incredulously.

"No."

"Are you sure you even–"

"No."

"Are you high? Or is your brain not producing much today?"

"I haven't slept with her so I wouldn't know," said Remus through gritted teeth.

"You are such a newbie."

"Sirius, you might want to stop insulting me," he said suddenly looking happy.

"Why's that?"

"Because I have a letter for you," he said triumphantly.

"Gimme!"

"Behave."

"Oh come on!" that was Peter.

"Don't torture us because he is being a prat!" said James. "He behaves like one every day anyway!"

"Good point," said Remus scowling. "Fine… here you go."

_By the way you speak or yourself and your friends, you guys are, by no way, innocent angels. _

"How long did it take her to figure this out?" asked James.

We all looked at Peter. He got quite offended by the stares.

"Why the bloody hell should I know?" he squeaked. "I found out like three weeks ago.

"Fair enough," I said nodding.

_I'm sure if I were to have been around you or even had you as a boyfriend, I'm sure you would have corrupted me and that would certainly displease my mother._

"Remus!" James, Peter, and I whined.

"What?" he replied.

"You have to tell us who it is–" said James.

"Just because it would be so bloody entertaining–" continued Peter.

"Because of my love for pissing mothers off!" I finished.

"Keep reading," said Remus annoyed. "Honestly the more letters you receive the more immature you become."

We all scowled.

_Nah, she won't be displeased, she wouldn't even have known._

"When you are dating Sirius Black the muggle dude–"

"Minister," interrupted Remus.

"Yeah, that," said James. "Even he knows."

_ Ignorance, by then, would have been bliss. So you're a Gryffindor then, well, that's settled then…_

_As for your other question, the one concerning what would I do if you **were** Sirius… Well… I would more likely be extremely surprised. A couple of minutes would need to pass before I could finally be comfortable. But then I would likely be nervous being around say person. Then…I… really don't know. No, I really don't want you to be him because that would take out the fun of knowing who I'm writing to. Because if you were him then… I might be getting to a point where no other girl has? And it'll be more likely that I would not want to meet you until I became more comfortable or something. There, you have my honest answer. _

"Well, we can rule out a confession for now," I said.

"And it would've been so entertaining," said Peter shaking his head. "The shame," he sighed.

_Who said I was playing a little game?_

"Sirius," said three voices simultaneously.

_ Do you actually think that by getting your favorites, I'm bound to know who you are? Surprise, surprise, I'm not in the mood of a treasure hunt of some sort. Though I must add that my friend is quite interested in finding out whom you are._

"Darling you already know who he is… stop lying to yourself," said James rolling his eyes.

_ Thanks for the answers nonetheless, though I did find your prediction about being in prison quite… sad. _

"Why?" said Peter. "I think that might be a pretty accurate description."

_You are the first person to actually say something negative about their future, so you better be kidding and say you'll be happily engaged to some girl or something along those lines. _

"This chick needs a thing of the list Sirius will never, even if he found his soul mate, do," said James.

Remus snorted.

_Now onto your questions... As for what I want in a guy, well, for one they have to be smart, interesting and have a sense of humor and that's pretty much it. It's pretty simple, ain't it? But that's it. _

"All girls want the same thing," said James disgusted.

"They want to mold boy into these perfect bloody losers that they can boss around," I continued.

"I'd buy into it," shrugged Remus.

"Yeah," James, Peter, and I agreed.

_So far, I've only had one boyfriend though that obviously didn't end so well. The thing that I hate about guys is their superficial manner of thinking, especially when it comes to girls, but I suppose that can't be blamed, after all they…. I'll just save that comment. _

"We can thank God she will never actually hear those comments you just made two seconds ago or her feelings will be confirmed," said Peter snorting.

_Of course, not many guys are like that so, it'll be unfair to claim all of them being superficial. _

"We are in that group–"

"We are angels–"

"We've never been superficial–"

"We don't understand women!"

Laughter usually follows redeeming time.

_The one special quality that I would like for the guy to have is… I cannot really give you a single answer to that. So I'll just leave that question blank for the time being. _

"Oh come on!" interjected James.

_I've never had a crush on a friend's boyfriend, though at the moment, the guy my best friend is dating I find him to be attractive but no, no crushes. _

"I should blackmail her with that…" said Remus thoughtfully to himself.

We all glared at him.

_I would never consider cheating, why would I want to break whatever trust is between us? I'm just not that kind of girl to do something like that. _

"She is such a girl," said James.

I threw a pillow at him. "You have such a knack for stating the obvious, mate."

He smiled sheepishly.

"That wasn't a compliment!" shouted Remus incredulously.

James shrugged.

_The worst thing that has ever happened in my life is… and currently is happening is the way my parents seem to ignore my existence, focusing mainly on my sister even when she's not even in the same country as we are. Being ignored by a love one is something quite dreadful, you know. As for the last Q, I don't hate no one, not even my parents, as funny as that sounds. _

"Be glad they are ignoring your existence," I said brightly.

"Dude… you live with me," said James.

"He is also treated better than you are," stated Remus smiling.

James glared at him.

_Well, this certainly has ended up being quite a lengthy letter I have written so far. You should be proud, ha. Also, I found it quite interesting that you are interested in whatever love life I have. Could it possibly be that you are interested me? Oh dear, that would be amusing, won't it? But really, if you wanted to get personal, then that was nothing. _

"Just wait until she stops being in denial, she's going to want to run away and never come back," said Remus laughing at his own comment.

_By the way, say Hi to your friends for me. Since I'm pleased to read that I'm providing some part to their amusement. _

"You got that right," said Peter laughing.

"Are you really still not telling me who she is?" I asked Remus.

"Right you are," he replied smiling brightly.

"Bloody wolf," I muttered, making him smile even wider.

* * *

Sorry for the lateness fam promblems... then my files got deleted... BUT my dear writing partner saved the day and sent me the files missing so here you go! Hope you enjoyed and dont forget to review... cheers! 


	13. Wake Up Call

**Chapter Thirteen **

* * *

"That settles it." Crystal exclaimed as she sat up from her bed. 

I turned to her as I held an open book in my lap, it was just another way of spending a rainy afternoon.

Sitting straight up, she held the folded letter I had handed over to her minutes ago. "Listen, I'll read this out loud and tell me if you don't notice something."

I rolled my eyes as I returned back to my book, "Seriously, I've read the letter three times before I ever handed it to you. What could I have missed?"

"Just listen."

I closed the book before paying attention to her.

'Okay… so maybe we're not innocent but we are definitely angelic. I wouldn't corrupt you… I'm really not that mean, you know. I could try but only half-heartedly, just so I can kind of live up to my reputation but then I would give up and if you have actually picked anything up I'll dump ya… just kidding.

I got an answer… I will completely ignore it now.

Well, you could try to find out who I am by those answers. I find myself to be a really unique person. So your friend wants to know who am I? Well two of my friends actually want to know who you are too. They are itching to find out so they can tease both of us… they don't particularly like seeing only one side of things.

My friends told me that you obviously need a list of all the things I will never do because being happily engage is on the top five. You see you can be my soul mate… my everything… but I would have to have at least thirty years of thinking before I actually pop the question.

Guys have a superficial manner of thinking? I didn't know that and I'm a guy… I have never, ever in my entire life looked at a girl and gone "I want to date her" before actually getting to know her… NEVER… did I convince you for a sec? Yes? No? Well, I almost fooled myself. And you know, not giving me an answer for that question is completely and totally unfair.

So you think your best friends' boyfriend is attractive? Ha… that is very interesting. What's the name of your friend? Maybe I know her boyfriend… heck… maybe then I'll know who you are and mock you from afar or something… just kidding (the mocking thing). Your parents are ignoring your existence… from my view you should embrace it but my opinion is biased on my life so ignore it.

Well I could be interested in you or I could just hate your guts and am just wondering if there is something that could make you redeem yourself… I have no idea which (yes, I am teasing you.) My friends also want to say hi and that you should start reading between the lines… I dunno why they said that though. Anyway… 'til next time.'

It must have been two minutes later that she had finally rested the letter in her lap; normally such letter wouldn't take long to read but she was taking her lovely time with this one. Though it is apparent that she had caught something that I didn't.

"Before anything, how many friends of yours have a boyfriend? Or are you specifically speaking about Remus?"

I nodded, better signaling instead of putting it into words.

She squealed, a broad smile splattered on her face. I was quite dumbfounded by her reaction. "You're happy about that?"

"It's nice to know that you find him attractive."

I blinked, I wasn't exactly sure how to respond to that. "So, what exactly have you found out about the letter?"

"You've been paranoid about it, you should know." she stated simply.

"I'm not paranoid… but you're speaking about Sirius, correct?" I asked, as I edge myself to the edge of the bed to get closer to her.

"I'm leaning toward him, but not sure enough to claim its him." she said, handing me the letter but before I could take it she quickly pulled it away from my reach. "Let me see all the letters he has written to you."

Without saying a word, I quickly made my way toward the trunk at the end of my bed. Pulling out a small box containing the letters, I returned back to my seat before handling over the box to her.

"Cute, you're saving them in a nice-looking box." she said with a grin.

I scoffed, "Go on, check!"

Ten minutes later, if not earlier, I dropped the fifth letter down on my lap. Crystal, who has been quiet for the last minute stared at me with a smirk.

"It's him…" I uttered, still taking in the news that Crystal had told me minutes

ago.

The answer has been in front of me all this time, well, in the parchment at least. I've been right to think it was him but… I've been in denial, I must have or I was either too daft to even notice it. If it weren't for Crystal who had informed me of the other facts concerning him, then I wouldn't have known.

"He has even written that his friends told you to read in between the lines. Seriously, how many guys who are popular have these characteristics? James is obviously out of the picture and that only leave Sirius." She said, closing the box the letters were in.

I didn't know whether I should laugh out loud at this or something but my feeling at the moment is indescribable. "I…so its Sirius?"

Crystal sighed, "I've read you the hints and really, how many good-looking guys out there have those characteristics?" she asked, referring to the letters.

"Perhaps it not hi-"

"C'mon!" she exclaimed, "Remember a couple of days ago when Remus found out about the letter?"

"Which leads me to say that he knows the other person if he's calmed about it, right?"

"Yes!"

"So its Sirius, would he know its me?" I asked, "What if Remus had already told him its me?!" I panicked.

She chuckled, "No, I doubt it… unless he does…"

"That isn't helping, you know."

"I'm sure he hasn't, which means you'll have the upper-hand at the moment."

I grinned at this, an idea suddenly forming. "What if I casually mentioned how nice he looked in Transfiguration?"

"So you want to tease him?"

"Sure, why not. It won't hurt him, no one will know, he'll be able to keep his bad boy image intact." I stated with a huge grin. I was becoming entirely amused of the possibility.

"Don't mention the class because if you do, he'll narrow the girls in that class and your cover will be blown."

"Haven't thought about that one," I said, falling back into my bed. "To make it more personal, I'll mention something about himself without mentioning his name. So that way… he won't be annoyed by me mentioning Sirius."

"There you have it; now that my work is finish here. I'll see you at dinner." I heard her say.

I quickly sat up, "You're spending way too much time with that boy, people might start thinking of something." I said, not entirely looking at her knowing full well that I'll be receiving a glare.

"Let them think what they will, but my business and is none other than my own… and perhaps him." she said, before she had closed the door after herself.

I smiled, now all I needed to do was write him a reply. Something I'm really looking forward in doing.

* * *

I sometimes wonder what I did wrong in my past life. Honestly, I must have done _something_. Did I knock somebody out? Did I kill somebody? Did I bury them alive? I know I did something. 

"Oh, Paddy Paddy," taunted James. "You are in for a surprise!"

"Why?" I turned to Remus. "Of all people… why him?"

"'Cause it would take Peter about two seconds before he cracked and I had to tell someone," he shrugged.

"You could've told me!" I replied.

"Where's the fun in that?" asked Peter.

"Why are you, of all people, defending them?" I asked incredulously.

"Simple," he said. "For once, I'm not the only one that doesn't know."

"Great," I muttered.

"Anyway, Sirius," said Remus. "Here's your letter."

As I took the letter something occurred to me. "How do you know her? And why does she keep giving you the letters? I mean, she isn't supposed to know who I am."

"She doesn't give me the letters... I got it from McGonagall's classroom," replied Remus.

"But how–"

"Oh, come on, Padfoot... we're not that blind!" said James. "Now read! Lord knows I've been dying for this one."

"You read it didn't you?" I asked looking at the letter for any marks of vandalism. "Oh, yes you did," I said noticing a stain on the paper. "And you were eating a chocolate frog when you did too."

Remus slapped him upside the head as James smiled sheepishly.

"So, really," I continued. "There is no point in me reading it aloud, is there?"

"What about me?" squeaked Peter.

Bloody rat.

"Fine."

"Fine," echoed James in a mocking tone, I glared at him.

_Really, I find you to be quite interesting. Personally, I would not have minded being "slightly" corrupted. Just wishful thinking, I suppose. _

"Remus, we have to tell him who it is! Please, I beg you! I want to see him cry!" pleaded James with puppy eyes and all.

"No," answered Remus unfazed by James' behavior.

_Yes, I'm bound to know who you are BUT I'll have to say you looked quite nice in class. _

My reaction must have been exactly what they expected because they had started pointing and laughing way before I finished the sentence.

"Who told her?" I asked as calmly as I could.

"You did," matter-of-factly stated Remus and James in unison.

"I did?" I asked raising an eyebrow. "I don't even know who she is."

"Oh you know who it is," said James.

"But you just won't admit it," supplied Remus.

"I couldn't have possibly told her who I am," I said shaking my head.

"But you did."

I rolled my eyes. "Sure."

_If someone suggests you to cut your hair, ignore them, but if they insist, don't have it rudely as James does. As to answer to your other question, my friend might already know or not. I have to say that I'm sorry that your two other friends don't and won't know who I am. Well, to be honest, I'm not really sorry. I'm entirely amused. I'm having a fantastic day, really! Even with the gloomy weather we're having at the moment. Oh… lightning…_

"Great… she's describing the weather," I looked out the window. "Which means… she wrote it…?" I waited for the flash. "Today…"

"You are so smart mate," said James.

I flashed him a smile, "Why thank you."

_I suppose I will need that list after all. I'll need to know what you will and will not do, I'm sure it'll come in handy. I'm sure any girl will need it if they were to be with you. Can you imagine? The poor girl might be expecting that ring only to have it thirty years later. I will certainly not like to be in her shoes. Or I might… depends on the guy, y'know? Perhaps he has something or does that'll make him worth keeping. Such thoughts, haha. _

"Sarcasm is a foreign language for this girl, isn't it?" asked Peter chuckling.

We all looked at him. "Wasn't being sarcastic."

His smile fell. "Well, it's hard to tell sometimes."

_You're just a guy; the average typical guy that has the same thoughts as others unless you happened to play for the other team, if you know what I mean. So, I suppose it's expected from you but is it necessary to take advantage of it? Just 'cause guys are known to be superficial it doesn't necessarily mean that you need to play up that stereotype. Oh well, that's your unique you, I suppose._

"Oh, yes he is," said three voices simultaneously.

"By the way, Sirius," said Peter. "I got you a date with Margaret from Ravenclaw."

James and Remus desperately tried to choke down their laughter but to no avail.

"Margaret?" I repeated. "Margaret Smith, is it?"

"Yeah," he said with a hint of a smile.

"Margaret Smith," I said again. "Margaret Smith from Ravenclaw…. Are you out of your bloody mind?"

At this point James and Remus could barely stand up.

"Of all the people I interviewed she was the only one that said yes," said Peter shrugging.

I rolled my eyes.

_What's so interesting about finding my best friend's boyfriend appealing? He's nice to look at but that's about it. I don't know him well enough and I wouldn't even dream of "stealing him" away from her. No, I won't be revealing her name to you. That'll be a mistake on my part if I did–_

"Wait a second," I said as my light bulb turned on. "What do you mean _people_?"

"Well, I interviewed guys too, you know," Peter replied with a determinedly straight face, the others were not as modest. "Just in case."

"Just in case," I muttered. "Just in case…. Now I'm going to have dudes trying to seduce me by touching my bum… bloody stupid rat."

Remus and James were beyond understanding. Every time one of them tried to make some sort of smart ass comment it would take a little pointing and they would both burst out laughing all over again… bloody girlies.

_Well, it's lovely to hear that you might find me interesting or that you might hate my guts, even when you're kidding. It's good to hear that I'm in limbo. Haha. So now your friends are helping you write the letter? My, everyone is involved in this, aren't they? Now that gives me a reason to really protect my identity. _

"If you consider incessant laughter, critique, and ridicule help, then yes, they most certainly are," I said sardonically. The others were still too busy laughing to care.

_Have a wonderful day/night, love. _

"She said love?" said Peter raising an eyebrow. "Well, there mate, seems like you're improving."

James and Remus looked at me and immediately knew that it wasn't exactly what I wanted.

* * *

A/N: Happy Thanksgiving! Anyway... hope you enjoyed and as always don't forget to review. And no, my next update won't be a Christmas gift or something I'll try to make it in the next two/three weeks since my classes for the semester end on the 7th. 


	14. Goodnight, Goodnight

**Chapter Fourteen**

* * *

_Okay, maybe I wouldn't mind to slightly corrupt you... but keep in mind that my definition of slightly might not be the same as yours._

_Anyway... you are bound to know who I am or you know who I am? Or maybe you are pretending to know who I am? Don't get me wrong though, I am most certainly accepting the compliment. And you should not worry your little heart into cardiac arrest, I shall not cut my hair, much less leave it like James'. You should know, while we are in the subject, that his hair is alive and by no means is there any way in this world that there might be another human hair that looks like his._

_I don't know if this is going to be good news or bad but.. two of my friends know exactly who you are and given their looks and constant laughter (I call it silent mockery) I'm guessing that a) you are someone they tease b) you are someone I've said would never date or c) you are too good to be true... which one would you classify yourself in? And please answer this question, I am very interested in knowing the answer to it. Btw... I like the supposedly bad weather..._

_No you do not need the list... and thirty years isn't really that much is it? And besides if you can tell me the difference between living together and being married, please do explain, and if your answer convinces me, I shall promise I will get married. I would love to see you wait thirty years for a guy... ha ha._

_I am like any other guy and unlike any other guy. I am special. I am me. I have no idea where that came from..._

_Finding your best friends boyfriend attractive is just as interesting as trying to figure out who you are and in all honesty... it is not interesting (I think I might have contradicted myself, but that is also a change of heart) at all, its nerve-wracking... its a pain in the arse seeing all these people laughing at me... but I guess I should be used to it. And yes you should try to steal the guy (that would be a little more interesting) cause seriously I would think of nothing better than two girls in a cat fight (at least at the moment. ha.)_

_Anyway, I got to go now and hope to hear from you soon._

_This couldn't be… _I thought as I slowly folded the letter.

I wanted to look; I wanted to make sure that Remus was not looking towards my direction as I read the letter. No. that would make it to suspicious if he did.

_But what if he did….? I wouldn't know if he did, would I?_

I placed the letter back inside the book-bag and as I did, I quickly looked toward the direction where Crystal and Remus where occupying.

Crystal was nearest to me, while Remus was seated on the left side of her. The two, though obviously finished with their dinner, where quite engrossed in their conversation. I couldn't really see him, so I'm assuming that he couldn't see me while I read the letter.

Wait, why am I assuming that Remus is one of them?

_Really, Isabelle; the letter said _two people_ that only leaves one out. _

"It is him." I muttered, taking the cup of pumpkin juice that just been refilled.

"Who's him?"

I quickly turned to my right; just in time to see Alice quietly making herself comfortable in the empty space beside me.

"No one," I answered, before taking a drink.

"You've been awfully alone lately; Crystal with her lover and you're all by yourself, sitting pitifully at the corner of the Hufflepuff table." I heard her say as she began serving herself some mashed potatoes into her plate.

I returned the cup back to the table before I cocked an eyebrow at her direction. "Keep mocking me; after all, it is the new thing."

She was either taken aback by my reply or it was the way I said it because she suddenly became quiet.

"I wasn't being serious, you know…"

"No?"

I chuckled, "Of course not, why would I be?"

She took a spoonful from her mashed potatoes and though she wasn't looking at me, I could tell there was a grin on her. "Better to be careful than not."

There was a minute or two of silence, mainly because Alice had begun eating her dinner; surprisingly, her plate consisted mostly of the potatoes than any other plate that's being offered.

"So, am I still pitifully lonely?"

"Yup."

"Should I find someone to just… hook up?" I asked, though not seriously.

"The school is full of free males, pick one out." she replied.

"Be someone like Crystal who spends the majority of her time with her love?"

"Why not?"

"You won't mind being the 'pitiful, lonely, one'?"

"Next question!"

"How about Sirius then?"

The spoon she was just stirring what was left of her potatoes suddenly stopped, as she cocked an eyebrow at my direction. "What about him?"

Alice was the only one that did not know about my "secret correspondence" So, I know it wouldn't be all that bad if I told her now, but I knew that it wouldn't be all that _wise_ if I told her while having Remus only a couple of feet from where we were.

"What if I told you I was corresponding with _him?" _

This had certainly stopped her, but only to hear her lightly scoff at my question.

"There's a boxful of letters I have of our correspondence in my dorm."

She turned to me, her eyes still having that disbelieving glint in them yet so curious.

"Yeah, I know what you're thinking. Too hard to believe and whatnot." I added as I took hold of my cup, which I realized was now empty.

"How did that came to be?"

I couldn't help but let a smile show; I can still clearly remember how this all came to be.

"I see…" I heard her say.

"I might as well tell you…"

I told her how it came to be. How it all started with the scrap of poem I accidentally left behind a couple of months ago. It was an accidental beginning; something that I wasn't prepared on but that I gladly took up the task of continuing. Besides, he also contributed to this charade of sorts. So, it wasn't necessarily _all _my doing.

"You're not pulling my leg, are you?" she asked, pushing aside the plate she was eating from.

Oh yes, I've caught her attention.

"Why would I be making that up?" I asked, casually glancing toward the direction of Crystal and Remus.

"It just…" she started, "sounds very unlike you, but it is understandable that you're doing this through a letter and not by… person."

I scoffed at this.

"I didn't mean to offend you about it bu--"

I waved it away, "It's understandable."

"Does he know its you?"

…_two of my friends know exactly who you are…_

"No…"

"Ah, so you have the upper-ha--"

"Though two of his friends _do." _I interrupted with a sigh.

"Does Remus know?" She asked.

"More likely than not, though I'm somewhat sure that Peter doesn't… which doesn't help the situation."

"Well….at least _he _doesn't know."

I just gave her a weak smile, before taking a drink from the recently filled pumpkin juice.

* * *

"–the whole time she kept looking over to see if I noticed anything. I dunno why though, 'cause surely she must know I know it's her." I heard Remus say.

"Yeah, but then again, Sirius has her right in front of him and he still doesn't know who she is," replied James, followed by what I was sure was an eye roll. I decided to enter the dormitory at that precise moment as though I hadn't heard a thing.

"You heard us didn't you?" said James, crossing his arms and standing squarely in front of me.

So maybe I am not exactly stealth.

"So?" I asked him walking past him. "Is not as if I'm any closer to reading the name I must have stamped on my forehead."

"Come on mate, you really shouldn't act this stupid," said James sounding a tad bit frustrated.

I raised an eyebrow.

"Now, I know, you did not just transform into captain obvious," said Peter from his position on the bed scanning through a magazine.

"Nice one, Pete," said Remus chuckling. "Shut the pie hole."

"In my opinion, Remus," said Peter ignoring the request. "You should really stop hanging out with James so much, 'cause the arrogance is starting to rub off on you and you are supposed to be the wise one."

"Okay, I think enough has been said," I said before Remus could answer Peter. "Oh lord I can't wait for this to go back to normal and I stop being the voice of reason," I added.

"Definitely," said Remus and James in unison.

"Do you have the letter?" asked Peter.

"Yes," I answered. "But–"

"READ!" said three voices in unison.

That was really annoying I must say.

_I'm not pretending. I do know who you are, or how could I possibly make the comment about your hair? Or the fact that rumors are going around, amongst us girls, that you're either dating Margaret Smith or are soon to be? _

I glared at Peter as James and Remus attempted to control the urge to laugh.

"Have guys hit on you yet?" asked James with a determinedly straight face. "I mean with Pete interviewing them and all."

"All of them said they were straight, though," Peter kindly pointed out.

"Thanks for ruining the moment, Pete," replied James. "Proceed."

"What is this court?" The question was met with glares and protests.

_Or is it just pure luck that I only guessed that you are who I said you are? I don't necessarily believe in luck, coincidences yes, but luck no. By the way, how come you haven't been dating anyone? I do know about your bet and all, but the dates shouldn't necessarily be with the girls your friends betted you on (Oh, that sounded very naughty). As I was saying, I'm pretty sure I know who you might be… unless my guess is way off from the base, which in either case won't necessarily be that bad (I think). _

"Not one comment on my current dating life or I swear this is the end of the sharing thing we've got going on," I said, sneaking a death glare for better effects.

_Yes, I do 'somewhat' consider it bad news that your friends 'might' know who I am. I'm taking a 'wild' guess that one of them has to be Remus and the other James, though I would be surprised to find out that it's Peter instead and not James. In either case, I find it a bit… disheartening. _

"Would you hurry up, mate," said James suddenly. "I've got to meet someone in the Astronomy Tower and you know wha– actually, I don't think you remember what goes on up there."

The reaction to my scowl consisted of a lot of high-fives going around.

_The options aren't all that flattering, except for the last one which would easily classify me as a Veela (which I'm obviously not). But, to answer to your question… I would have to say that I'm option "B" Though, I'm 'slightly' comforted because I'm pretty sure there is a percentage of girls you would not date, so that only means you still have a lot to work on to figure who I might be (and that is if you're still interested). _

"At this point the only percentage there is, is the one where like a 0.5 of the girls want to date Sirius while the rest just point and laugh," said James chuckling.

"This coming from the guy that hooks up with everything that moves because the one girl he likes has very creative ways of turning him down."

"Ouch," said Remus quietly while Peter snorted.

_Oh yes, there's a difference between being married and just living together, but I suppose it all comes down to how the two would like to live, correct? It is true, I won't be able to wait around for a guy that long. _

"Then Sirius is most definitely not the guy for you," said Remus.

_Out of curiosity… What's the reason for the animosity that you and your group have against Severus? Is there a secret history of some sort? Like… has he stolen your broomstick when you two where just kids? It's just something that I can't figure out. _

"His name is Severus for starters, then we got that god awful last name _Snape_ and he doesn't wash his underpants… are those reasons good enough for her? 'Cause I most definitely can come up with more, mate," said James. Peter laughed out loud and Remus, as always, decided not to comment.

_I must end this, have some homework I must get started on. _

"What are you gonna do now," asked Remus.

"I'm going to admit it's me," I replied shrugging.

"Are you sure you want to do that?" said James.

"Well, it is kind of obvious it's me," I said. "No point in lying anymore, is there?"

Remus considered this for a second. "True."

"I have no idea why you just took the time to consider that comment, mate," I said laughing a little. "Anyway, got to reply."

About thirty minutes later, two scrapped letters, and fifty walks around the dormitory, I went down to McGonagall's classroom and put the letter in its usual spot.

As I walked out of the room I spotted Melanie Holloway making her way up the steps to the Gryffindor Common Room and found myself being sucked into my old ways.

* * *

**A/N:** Sorry for the delay I had completely forgotten about something very important: **College Applications**. I wanted to shoot myself while filling them out but I got this huge relief after I sent them... I don't think I'd ever been so happy in my entire life 'cause I had to do a portfolio and I got writer's block, but I got through it and might even adapt that story into a fic ... so... hope you enjoyed this chapter and I hope to be back with a new one soon.. Review! 


	15. Back to Black

**Chapter Fifteen**

* * *

"Crystal!" I called out as I entered into our dorm; it wasn't necessary for me to be calling out her name in such a small location, but there was urgency with what I wanted to tell her. 

"Don't yell." I heard her say, as I got closer to her bed which was the only one with the curtains down. "I'm trying to nap and your yelling is no help."

"Read this," I asked, as I slipped my hand with the folded letter between the curtains. "out loud and without making a comment, so as not to disrupt the flow." I ordered.

I heard the crumple of the letter before she began with that soft voice of hers.

'A very interesting letter that one. Should I just flat out say that maybe I am Sirius Black? That wouldn't exactly be fair though, considering I haven't got a clue as to who you are.

Rumors are going around that I'm dating Margaret Smith? MARGARET SMITH? Of all girls? Please, give me a little bit more credit… I got to clear something up though, the reason I haven't dated anyone is not because of the bet but because I really haven't got the time. I don't know how I lost my time, but I'm getting back into my old self, meaning infinite time limit. With Christmas just around the corner I would think I'll be quite adorable, and the girls will just throw themselves at me. I don't know.

The one thing I know for certain about girls is that they cannot make up their fucking minds. Honestly, you confuse me, you want me or do you not want me to be Sirius Black? Maybe isn't really an option. It's getting a bit annoying really, it might be my mood though, can't put my finger on it. Well, you should know that Remus has had enough experience to know by now that telling Peter a secret is like putting a billboard atop Gringotts There a percentage of girls I wouldn't date, true, but only about twenty percent. Marriage and living together… to me the difference between them is a ring and a piece of paper saying "you're married". I stand my ground though, if my girlfriend wants to get married I'll write a paper saying we are, frame it and hang it on the door to the house, and hopefully, that will be the end to the discussion.

Our animosity against Severus It's nothing really, except he's a pain in the arse and doesn't wash his knickers which I find repulsive and punishable. Plus he smells like garlic.

Reply soon, Sirius'

No sooner did she finish reading the letter that she finally poked her head from behind the curtains. With surprise in her eyes, she said "He's admitting it."

"Which also means that _someone _will bound to tell him."

"Who?"

"Remus!" I exclaimed, leaning against the bed frame. "How long do you expect _him _to keep a secret like this from his best mate?"

She cocked an eyebrow at this; her head slowly nodding to what I've just said. "Right. Since he hasn't said anything about your identity, why would he do so now?"

I knew she had a point, but it wasn't enough to calm me down.

"How about James? He's not necessarily reserved as Remus is."

After making herself comfortable in a seating position, did she finally gave me her "serious" look. "You're being silly with this. You've met Remus, you know he's a good guy as James is."

"In case you've forgotten, I, as of recently, began speaking to Remus in such a casual manner, albeit weird knowing that he knows. I have not met the rest, nor am I necessarily interested speaking to them now…"

"You know Remus already."

"Do I? I recently began speaking to him, which should tell you a lot!" I exclaimed.

"You're exaggerating, Isabelle."

I didn't say anything as I leant against the wood, slowly sliding myself down only to stop when I felt the mattress underneath me. So I was exaggerating, but that's my right, isn't it? It is apparent that Sirius is no longer interested in hiding his identity, knowing full well _who _he is. The whole '_I'm hot and I know it' _deal; confidence might also be playing a part, but I doubt that this revelation was not _too _hard for him to do.

"Ever thought what would happen if _he _saw me?" I asked, casually looking down at my feet. "He would be expecting _someone _to look as good as he does."

"You know, he might not be all that superficial. He has gotten to know you, well, as much as possible through the letters."

"Oh yeah, he'll certainly look past the surface and admire my inner qualities, correct?"

She sighed, "There's no need to be sarcastic, you know."

I furrowed my eyebrows, still not looking up at her. "You're quite pretty; if it weren't for the fact that you're with Remus, you and Sirius would have looked quite nice together."

"Oh for crying _out _loud!" she started, "You are not the troll you are making yourself to be, so knock down the self-pitying."

I scoffed, "Why did I even bothered finding out his identity? Oh sure, it would be nice to know _how _he looks but if I knew it's Sirius I w--"

"Are you hearing yourself? You haven't even gone through one phase and are now wallowing in a feeling that isn't even there!" she snapped, obviously referring to the 'rejection phase'.

Her attitude was something that I was not expecting from her.

"This is not you, Belle." she continued, "You're the girl with the confidence; the one who doesn't give a fl--you just don't care what others say. Just be the same with him."

"Easier for you to say!" I retorted, as I stood up from the bed. "He's now expecting something; his best mates know who I am. How can I even win at _this?!_"

Silence ensued, as I stood there. Give a minute or two before I finally said, "Unless you do something; you're close to Remus…"

"What the bloody hell are you talking about now?!" she exclaimed. "One minute you're all pissed-off and the next you're… _planning something!" _

"Of course!" I started, "You can somehow make Remus not spill anything about my identity."

"PMSing much?" she finally said with a smirk.

I groaned, as I slid back down onto the bed.

* * *

"I heard he hooked up with Melanie and it's _serious!_" said one girl as Sirius passed by her. 

"Well, I heard, he _dumped_ her!" said James in a perfect imitation of the girl, who quickly blushed and scurried away.

"Looks like you are back to being gossip material, Sirius," said Peter walking up to them. "Apparently, Melanie has been crying her little eyes out for a couple of hours…. Wow, I hadn't said that in so long."

Looking down the length of Gryffindor table I spotted Remus glaring at me. Things were definitely back to normal.

"Things are definitely not back to normal," Remus said later in the Common Room. "There is still that little fact that you are falling in love with Isa–"

"What?!"

"Oh God…"

"It's like a Mexican soap opera." Everyone looked at James.

"I was in Mexico last summer okay!" he said defensively.

"Back to the topic please," said Peter. "Remus… please tell me you weren't about to say the name that I think you were about to say."

"No, I wasn't, it's a code," he said lamely. "A code, James and I use to refer to her… because… well… I don't know…"

All this time I sat on my bed gaping at the wall, the word 'no' forming on my lips but no sound coming out.

"You have to be joking," I whispered closing my eyes. "Please… tell me you are joking."

"Was it funny?" Remus said attempting to smile.

"I am going to ignore that."

Everyone looked at me.

"If you are not going to tell me," I said. "I'm not going to break my brain trying to figure it out and I'm not going to make assumptions either… if she wants me to know…" I sighed. "She'll tell me."

I stood up and walked out of the Great Hall, sat on the stairs and read the letter by myself.

_So you have finally gotten annoyed by me repeating that you're Sirius Black? Good. You have finally confessed… or something. At least that topic won't be touched from now on. Hah. _

_Back to your old self? The answer can only mean I'll be able to hear your daily escapades. Plus, you'll serve as a source for juicy gossip! Something us "girls" cannot get enough of. Speaking about gossips, I heard you once thought of "making a move" on Crystal before Remus had the chance. Whatever happened? How did Remus win over Romeo? Is it true what they say about the "quiet ones" y'know, having "special talents" that only a select few get to see? I see. I see. That certainly is good gossip!_

_The one thing you hate about us girls is that we can't make up our, and I quote, "fucking minds" Oh, how shocking! This is coming from the one person who really doesn't care about feelings? Seriously. You should have seen that one coming, right? I won't say anything more about that, because I don't want to appear like I'm "attacking" you personally. _

_So Christmas is coming up? I did not see that one coming. I must have been concentrated in school work and life to have noticed that up. Funny how those things tend to creep up on a person, right? One moment you're bored out of the mind, and the next you can't believe that time has went by so quickly. Yeah, that's life. _

_Are you staying for Christmas or spending it somewhere else? I've heard that staying in Hogwarts for Christmas break isn't all that bad. Perhaps the only part that might be weird would be eating with the professors in the great hall, but that's about it. One is free to roam around the school grounds. Hmm… I would like to try that out one day, and I only have two more opportunities to do so before we graduate. I should add that to my "To do list" _

_Sincerely,_

_Your little miss sunshine _

"You are really not going to tell us what the letter said?" asked James almost pouting.

"No," I chuckled.

"Why?" asked Peter.

"Just because," I looked over at Remus who nodded.

"It's between Sirius and her. Not us."

"Are you going to keep hooking up?"

"Oh, Jamesipoo," I said. "Truth is… I haven't changed one bit."

Remus snorted. "The power of love cannot cure a man from his needs when he doesn't know who he is supposed to be loving."

Everyone laughed.

Things were definitely back to normal.

* * *

Well, hello... long time... really long time... i have no excuse whatsoever (unless, i'm a second semester senior counts ;P) Well, here it is, a bit short but hopefully the next one wont be, got to wait and see. Don't forget to review (those things make me so happy, you've no idea) and I hope you enjoyed this one!! 


	16. Ain't No Sunshine When She's Gone

**Chapter Sixteen**

* * *

I was walking around the edge of the lake not quite believing that Sirius and I had finally reached the moment where I was the only mystery left in our correspondence arrangement. I was about to push back my hair when the wind did it for me also knocking the letter from my hand and over to one of the trees by the lake.

I followed the letter and was about to pick it up when someone else did. I attempted not to look horrified as I stared straight into his eyes. I lump formed at the back of my throat and I swallowed several times to attempt to get rid of it.

He stared at the letter for a second before handing it to me.

"Here" he said, pushing it in my direction. "You dropped this."

I took the letter in my hand, taking my eyes off him and nodding curtly before attempting to move past him.

"I know," he whispered, which took me by surprise.

"Wha– what?" I asked staring back at him.

"I know," he repeated. "About your correspondence with Sirius."

"Oh," I said as it dawned on me. "I know you do… he told me."

"I haven't told him," he said as I stared at my shoes in an attempt to hide how foolish I felt.

His words suddenly made me snap. "Why haven't you told him? What is in it for you? The pleasure of seeing him for the first time in your life confused?"

My words took him aback but I didn't let him reply as I made my way back to the castle.

"There's nothing in it for me!" he yelled, as he ran behind me. "It's your decision…. And he knows that… that's why he doesn't press the matter."

"Why doesn't he? If he really feels anything for me as Crystal keeps saying then why doesn't he go out of his way to find me?"

We walked silently side by side through the grounds, the only sounds where that of the fierce wind and his heavy breathing.

"He's not ready for you," Remus replied as we reached the courtyard. I stopped in my tracks to face him. "He needs you to prepare him for this step but he doesn't have you… not really… not when you keep hiding instead of getting on to the page he's in waiting for you to join."

And with those words he left me standing in the middle of the courtyard clutching a letter she wasn't sure she wanted to reply anymore.

I went back to the Common Room where I met with Crystal.

"I had a very interesting conversation with Remus like five minutes ago," I told her as I dropped down on a chair.

"About what?" she asked cocking an eyebrow and closing the book she'd been reading just a second ago.

"Sirius." I replied. She nodded and got up heading toward our dormitory. I picked myself up from the chair and followed. By the time I reached it, Crystal was already sitting on the bed holding a letter in her hand.

"Have you replied to his letter yet?" she asked me as I sat on the edge of her bed. "No… I walked around the lake a bit to attempt to reply but I met Remus there and completely forgot what I was going to say."

She stared at the letter in her hand before asking "Can I read it?"

"Of course," I replied, giving her the crumpled letter and wondering what the mystery of the other one was.

_Hey, _

_So… yeah I'm kind of back to my old self. Guess I missed breaking girls' hearts… not that that is a good thing but then again I'm Sirius Black "breaks hearts with one smile". Or at least that's what they say. I would like to not be reminded of that very dark week this term when I was very excitedly plotting my move on Crystal when Remus' smug self walked into the Common Room and announced for the first time in our Hogwarts years that he had a date (most of the other times were so low key we've thought he was ashamed of the girl… turns out he was just scared James and I would attempt a steal… how dare he?! Besides, most of the girls he goes for we don't like 'cause they aren't exactly fooling around type they are more of the COMMITMENT type and you know how I feel about that). Anyway, since you asked so nicely I might as well tell you… So yes Remus came in announced this date and about five minutes into our mocking he revealed it was her… needless to say I was so heart broken I moped for about five minutes before remembering that there are other fish in the sea and that if Remus went for her she must be commitment type and that turned out to be true so… there you go. And Remus won 'cause he made the move and I didn't and I wasn't about to attempt to snatch her from him. I mean, he's the friend that does my head in every once in a while I can't betray him that way._

_Oh by all means attack me personally… Merlin knows I need a proper argument since lately it is all about "Sirius read the letter aloud" I'm in desperate need of mind-fucking challenges. Well, I do care about feelings… meaning if you deserve for me to care about feelings but if you give yourself no respect then I've got no reason to give you respect either. People need to sort themselves out before letting others in or bring others in that might help them sort themselves out. If you don't help yourself it ain't going to happen on its own. _

_Well considering I ran away from home… I don't think there is anywhere I am planning to be for the Christmas holidays except for Hogwarts… I could go with James but he's being a pain in the arse about this situation and I will most likely not suffer from separation anxiety… and also I just discovered he's not going home 'cause my personal life is "too juicy for me to miss!" Great prat… And if you want to roam the school well… just get an invisibility cloak and you will most likely find just about everything… if you need company well I can't help you there seeing as I don't know who you are, right? However if you are looking for something in particular well just write it out and I'll be sure to lure you to your desired place… he.._

_Yours truly,_

_Sirius Black_

As she read his name in that quiet voice of hers, I thought I heard a slight hint of pity in her voice but I didn't ask.

"I don't think you should reply until you know what you want."

"What do you mean until I know what I want? It's just a harmless letter, though after talking to Remus I didn't really feel like replying but really what's is the point of not replying we're just friends… who don't know each other… but friends nonetheless…" I replied in almost one breath and with a prominent hint of anxiety at the thought of that mystery letter that was currently sitting on Crystal's lap.

"He doesn't want you to reply until you do," she said in a small voice.

"What?"

"I think you should read this," she told me, handing me the mystery letter.

_Hey, so… I know I already replied to your letter but there is something I must tell you about before you reply to mine. Remus knows who you are and so does James and they are both working really hard to not tell me. A couple of weeks ago I would've been an annoying brat and attempted to extract this piece of information from them; however I have decided that I won't. If you don't want to tell me who you are that's fine, but you cannot expect me to hang around forever waiting for you to reveal yourself. Truth is, there you are probably the only girl I have ever connected with in my entire life. And if now it is not the time for you to be comfortable around me without this letter nonsense as a person I truly care about then I don't know what we're doing here. Maybe it is the wrong time for us to be friends or whatever. The decision is yours. _

_Yours truly,_

_Sirius Black_

I folded the letter and attempted to enjoy the silence that ensued but Crystal's fidgeting and questioning look did not help me.

"Who gave you this letter?" I asked her finally.

"Remus," she said. "He told me that since he barely talks to you maybe I should be the one to give it to you."

"I guess that make sense."

"But you guys talked."

"It was an accident," I told her. "I was walking around the lake and the wind knocked the letter out of my hands and onto his … he gave it to me and then confessed that he knew everything and that Sirius is just waiting for me to make a move," I said chuckling. "Guess this confirms his pep talk."

"What are you going to do?" asked Crystal.

"Enjoy the Christmas holidays."

* * *

I pulled my eyes away from the window just in time to watch James walk into the dormitory.

"So… what are we doing this lovely Christmas holidays?" he asked casually as he dropped himself onto his bed.

"Well… you could start by paying what you owe," I replied matter of factly, moving by his bed and resting on one of the pillars.

"Paying what I owe?" he asked scrunching up his eyebrows in thought. "Oh," he said as it dawned on him. "Christmas. Tomorrow. Right."

He got off the bed and started looking through his trunk. "So you actually didn't hook up with either of them again or were we too busy watching your confused self moping around the dormitory to notice you sneaking into the astronomy tower with them?"

I raised an eyebrow. "What kind of man do you think I am?"

He chuckled. "A very sneaky one," he replied throwing a small bag at me. "At least I can still make those other hundred galleons if you hooked up with Ashley or Alicia or whoever before the end of the year."

"They are too shallow for my taste."

I could see the shock my words implemented on James' face. I made every effort to keep a straight face but was unable too. He breathed a sigh of relief.

"Don't scare me like that, Padfoot, please… it's not good for my heart."

"Your face was too funny for me not to laugh… I meant what I said."

He raised an eyebrow. "So… this girl has actually changed you somewhat?"

"Well… kind of…" I said. "No one could ever change me but she still hit some nerves."

"Has she replied to your letter yet?"

"No… and I don't expect she will either," I told him without looking at him. "I hinted that if she didn't come to me I didn't want anything to do with her anymore."

"Why are you suddenly doing this, Sirius?"

I looked at him but didn't reply. He took this as a hint that I wouldn't tell him so he plopped himself down on his bed and attempted to take a nap.

I looked back out the window. I could see Remus standing by himself in the courtyard looking concerned.

"For the first time in my life I have a need to feel vulnerable."

James opened his eyes and stared at me but he didn't say anything.

"Want to go to Hogsmeade tonight?"

"Yeah," he replied and closed his eyes once again.

* * *

A/N: Hey there... long time... hehe... I am very sorry about the delay but my partner, Noc007, and I have decided that I will finish the story by myself so I've spent all this time making sure that I can portray her character even remotely as good as she has done it. Hopefully I'm doing a good job and you still enjoy the story. 


	17. Not Falling Apart

**Chapter Seventeen**

* * *

"Get up!" Crystal said as she yanked open the curtains over my window. "Well... that wasn't quite what I was picturing when I conjured this moment up in my mind," she said, grimacing at the lack of light outside the window.

I looked at the gray skies and the pouring rain and figured that the sky must have been feeling as blue as I was.

"Get UP!" yelled Crystal as she pulled the covers off of me with a stern look on her face. "You've spent more than enough time holed up in this room-"

She stopped abruptly and crinkled her nose in disgust. "Oh my god... have you BATHED?!"

I looked at her before hiding my face under the pillows. "Accio sheets!" I said and the covers flew back onto me.

"OH NO! Get out of bed... NOW!" She yanked the covers off once more, this time pulling me by the leg and causing me to fall flat on my face on the wooden floor. "And for the people that have to sleep next to you... SHOWER!"

"I don't feel like it." I said as I pulled myself off the floor and sat on the bed.

"Aren't you a little old to be asking for a speech on hygiene? Seriously, what is up with you?"

"I told him."

"What?" said Crystal as she picked up random items of clothing that were strewed all over the floor and throwing them on a pile by the foot of the bed careful not to touch them for too long. "You've been living like a boy... so disturbing."

"I told Sirius."

"Told him what?" she asked distracted by something under my bed.

"Who I am."

"You wha-" her sentence was cut off and replaced by the muffled sounds of her in pain due to the fact that the shock had made her bang her head against the bottom of the bed. "Oh, bloody fucking hell that hurt!"

"Are you okay?"

"No, I am not okay. I have a friend who has been living in a dumpster-like environment for two weeks, I mean, you have a rat under your bed-"

"A what-"

"I have a boyfriend who has barely said two things to me in like five days," she said ignoring me completely. "And Sirius Black is back to acting like the pompous prat he's always been and which we all thought he had left behind during the summer holidays. So, no, I am not okay because everything is going in a backwards direction even though forward is a much better direction to strive to move toward."

"And me telling you that I told Sirius Black the fact that he has been corresponding with I, Isabelle Rey, is not making all of the information that you just passed on to me make any sense?"

"Yes, of course." she thinking rapidly. "You have been depressed because you told Sirius and Sirius told Remus that he already knew who it was and he couldn't accept it so he started acting like an idiot again and Remus can't bear to talk to me because he knows you and I are friends and it might hurt you to know that Sirius is acting that way because it is... you."

"Wow... you just kicked me further down than I could have imagined."

"Sorry... I was thinking aloud."

"It doesn't matter... we all knew it was bound to happen," I said searching for clean clothes. "I mean, I'm not exactly his type."

"See that is the problem with the two of you and I'm sick of it."

"What do you mean?"

"Go shower... I have to go do something."

"Wait- what are you-" I started to say but Crystal had left. "going to do?" I finished to myself in the empty room. "Oh god." I sighed and headed for the showers.

* * *

"Sirius Horatio Black!"

I stopped dead in my tracks and looked at James.

"Why is the dreaded middle name being yelled out by a _female_ in the middle of a hallway?" I asked him before turning around.

"Beats me," he shrugged looking at an angry looking Crystal. "Oh, hello- ouch!"

I looked at Crystal with shock as I tried not to give much thought to the pain prickling through my face.

"You just got slapped," said James trying not to grin.

"No kidding," I said, still in shock. "What was that for? I'm pretty sure I haven't hung out with you for more than an hour to deserve such treatment!"

"That was for being an insufferable prat... and this-" she said slapping me again. "Is for being so fucking stupid."

"What the hell did I do?"

"You had this wonderfully fun correspondence with this totally awesome girl that you have ended because of her reputation? Seriously, Black, what is up with you? She should be the one running away from your sorry ass reputation or am I supposed to believe that "I take a girl a week up to the astronomy tower, bang them and never contact them again" is better than "I like to excel in my academic life because someday I want to be an excellent witch."

"It has nothing to do with who she is turned out to be-" Crystal and James looked at me with raised eyebrows.

"I'm serious."

"We know you are," James said, corners of his mouth twitching. "Sorry... bad joke," he said after catching our glares.

"Anyway, don't tell me what it is about... tell her," said Crystal.

"I can't," I said. "It's complicated.

"No... it is not.. you just want it to be because for the first time in your life you have met someone that might actually be worth it and it wasn't just because she wanted a quick shag in the tower of love."

"Right," I said as Crystal turned her back on me and walked away.

"What just happened?" asked Remus as he caught up with us.

"Your bloody bird smacked me across the face after yelling out the dreaded middle name-" I suddenly turned on my heel and was face to face with Remus, our noses almost touching. "You told her my middle name?"

Remus started to laugh.

"What are you laughing about?"

Suddenly James joined in.

"What?!"

"I'm just in shock, really," said Remus after a while. "That she slaps you across the face and you are angrier about the fact that she knows your middle name."

"That's not-" They raised their eyebrows before I could finish my sentence. "Never-mind." And I left them laughing at the bottom of the steps.

* * *

Author's Note: Hello, there... long time... no update. I'm so sorry I hadn't updated... I was just having a really rough year... But it's all fine now... and I'm back... Thank you all for sticking around and I'll be sure to have a new chapter up in the next few weeks. LBR


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